From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Nunchaku are what you would call 'numchucks' if you knew what the hell you were talking about. 'Numchucks' are for numbnuts.

The art of nunchaku is also known as 'the sweet skill'.

Now the Uncyclopedia has ensmartened you, Grasshopper. Clear your mind of conscious thought, and allow true knowledge to enter your soul, like a q-tip into your urethra. Follow me into the enlightenment below.

Uses of Nunchaku[edit]

Nunchaku are magical sticks of DOOM! There are rare cases when the common citizen will use a nunchaku. In these cases the common citizen will almost certainly kill himself, and amuse everyone around him.

Nunchaku are primarily used in battle against pirates. In a pinch they may also be used against Martians, Republicans, and common citizens. However, there are better weapons to use against Republicans, no known weapon affects Martians, and, of course common citizens may be easily torn apart with your bare hands.

One infamous nunchaku user is the great Ducky, who existed exactly 499 years before the birth of christ. Ducky was well known for killing anyone who oposed his reigme. It is also said that Ducky was the founder of time-travelling but conclusive evidence has never been found.

Nunchaku "forms" are not as ridgid as other weapons based forms (e.g: move "a" leads, allways has led, and will forever more lead, to move "b") Instead Nunchaku users rely on a general assumption of the loctation of the flailing end of the Nunchuck. This is done, not with the intent of attacking ones opponent, but in an attempt not to hit one's own ass or head with a spinning bit of wood or penis (see: History of Nunchaku).

Once a Nunchaku user gets going, it's extremely difficult to stop the spinning part without injury, therefore most "attacks" involve attempting to rein in the angular momentum while simulatniously occupying your opponen's personal space.

History of Nunchaku[edit]

Nunchaku were invented in Germany. The first, primitive nunchaku were made with sausage. This was helpful for the native German ninjas, because they could eat a link or two and gain quick energy for the battle ahead.

Before the ninja used nunchaku, the Aztecs used them. Their nunchakus were actually made of their own humongous cocks, braided together and folded in the center.

Nunchaku are high in salt and fiber. They are traditionally served at Lent and during the Feast of Dance Dance Revolution.

Laser Nunchaku, nunchaku that shoot lasers when they are swung, don't exist, but if the did, that would be SWEET...! The Amish often get nunchaku confused with giant robots, not believing in either technology or violence.