Murdered Puppy

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Uh, yeah? This article is about a dog killed by a bunch of robots. Just wanted to warn you.

The Murdered Puppy, only seen once in episode 76 of the 1980's Transformer's cartoon, plays a minor role in the resurgence of the Autocons. Or whatever they're called.

When the murdered puppy was living, it was not known by its famous moniker "Murdered Puppy" but rather "Ralph". Once an ally of the Decepticons, Ralph was hunted down and killed for various reasons by the hardest hardcore vanguard of Decepticons ever unleashed on a single enemy.

What. The Hell?[edit]

Rescued by Stapler-bot early in episode 76 from the pound, Ralph was a happy go lucky puppy. When he was introduced to the Decepticon hivemind, however, things started to go *ahem* "awry".

Apparently, Ralph could read. And not only English, but Robot too, for one of the reasons the Decepticons listed for murdering the Murdered Puppy in their press release was "knowing too much."

Following the murder, the Decepticons were mired in an onslaught of negative press. Scissorsbot, one of the evil Officebots, fielded most of the concerns by beeping, booping, and being generally obnoxious.

"Apparently, the Murdered Puppy had infiltrated the SUPER-GOD MASTERFORCE mainframe for his own evil purposes. I think he was about to take over the Decepticons' jobs of taking over the world. He proved to be too much of a risk, so he was hunted down. Hunted down like a DOG."

—Scissorbot

Upon uploading all of the 20 megabytes of intergalactic knowledge that the Decepticons had spent thousands of years collecting, and after deleting all their inanimate object porn, Ralph gained superpowers.

"If only he hadn't deleted our porn and gained superpowers, he might still be with us today. I'm not saying that deleting Decepticon porn gets you superpowers, but I AM strongly suggesting it."

—Staplerbot

I'm Sorry, the Dog got Superpowers?[edit]

The Murdered Puppy (secret identity: "Ralph"), gained enough power to generate electricity for all of Tokyo for a year. Although he had nothing to do with Tokyo, the Decepticons thought it was worth mentioning.

"Not only could the dog generate electricity, but that dog was mighty crazy. He downloaded all SORTSA crazy information from the aptly-named SUPER-GOD MASTERFORCE Mainframe. Who knows what he could have done if we hadn't stepped in."

—Styrofoamcupbot

Among the information stolen from the SUPER-GOD MASTERFORCE mainframe was the location of Earth, how to make the perfect churro, and the super-secret location of the SUPER-GOD MASTERFORCE mainframe. The dog, using his newly found electrical powers, mated all night long and peed on those "No Dogs" signs, before finally being "deleted" by the Decepticons. Oh, I'm sorry, I meant "murdered". He was murdered.

A statue of the Murdered Puppy still graces the Decepticon library in Nashville, Tennessee.

Sources[edit]