L-shaped toast
In an achievement that was never supposed to make it into the hands of men, we will show you the "L-shaped toast". Invented by Dr. Murphy in 1998, "it gives toast a function", describes Murphy. "What we have here is a lateral to perpendicular toasten structure". With its new improved shape toast will indeed survive into the future.
Why L shaped toast was created[edit]
L shaped Toast is but one method to stymie Murphy while eating breakfast.
For example, when a slice of bread is toasted and passed through one of two slots, a phenomenon known as Quantum toast or Schroedinger's toast occurs. At this point the slice is nether buttered nor unbuttered until one bites into the slice or drops it on the floor, at which point the wave packet collapses and the slice condenses into its unbuttered or buttered state respectively in accordance with Murphy's Quantum Law.
Other attempts at solving the toast problem have been done in the infamous Anti-Gravity Cat Experiment.
Conspiracy Theories[edit]
In response to many people claiming to see Jesus and other such pop stars in their toast, many people have used L shaped toast to claim that they have seen the letter L in their toast.
Yoda claims that he owns the copyleft for the letter L and therefore anybody who owns a piece of L shaped toast is automatically breaking the law under the Intergalactic law by little green elves imposed is. Santa, who employs Yoda to make his kid-bribes, refused to comment on the situation but made a formal statement in which he recommended the letter L for being particularly useful as a lever / crowbar / probe.
The Federal Institute of Right Angles (formerly Fed. Inst. of Wrong Angles, but changed after this information was found to be wrong) have also sued the manufacturers of L shaped toast for containing too many right angles. The producers of the toast retorted by saying that the views were "obtuse" and that the institute needed to look at things from another angle.
Monkeys have also issued a formal statement regarding the toast, of which the following is an extract:
| “ | Despite the use of the word 'ape' in "L shaped toast" we do not in any way endorse this product. In fact, since you're asking, we prefer our toast in the shape of a banana. | ” |
George Bush stated that he has a fear of inward-pointing corners and complained about the government trying to kill them with his breakfast.
Toast (other meanings)[edit]
A lot of people, (too many, argues roadsweeper Saddam Einstein) confuse L shaped toast for the toast as in "let's propose a toast". This results in a large number of toasts being made in the shape of the letter L, thus spilling the drink all over the table and nearby anteaters.
See also[edit]
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