Haiku
“This would be haiku
If it had just one fewer
Syllable in this line..”
“A haiku, how much like a Western poem
but it doesn't rhyme and it's
totally stupid.”
“"Want some?" Pedro said
Your tacos went right through me
Run for the border”
“lol gtfo
wtf srsly?
stfu noob”
“Alfred Molina
Has four extra metal arms
I am fucking screwed”
“Look, it's Wayne's basement
Only, that's not Wayne's basement
Isn't that just weird?”
“Shut your God-damned mouth
or else I'm… gonna… kick you
square in the balls… ass-hole
Aw, damn it! [one too many syllables there]”
“the boys are waiting
my haiku brings all the boys
to the yard, damn right ”
“Staring at the sun
Ouch it hurts my eyes real bad
Do not recommend”
Definition[edit]
Often criticised
for its wordiness, Haiku's
a maximalist
form of poetry.
In 17 (or more) breaths
an author's whole life
and occurences,
expanded to the epic
proportions and all.
For an example,
here is a translation of
Art Master Eeyore.
"Greedy yellow birds
Sing the muddy riverbank
On a window sill."
--Eeyore
Haiku Content[edit]
Content of haiku
is usually focused on
infatuation.
So it is often written to Sophia, the muse of Uncyclopedia, which makes it OK.
Some argue that a haiku must contain an obvious reference to a planet and must be laser focused, but at least 110% the English language haijin do not have any discernible coherence at all. After all, for the most part we lived in caves, not the urban Greenland of several millennia ago when the haiku form was discovered by an alien fishmonger named Pashoo.
“haikus are easy,
But sometimes they don't make sense,
Refrigerator.”
Haiku Form[edit]
haiku are made of
Five syllables then seven
Then end with five more.
First, five syllables
Second, seven syllables
Last, five syllables
Why Bother Writing Haiku?[edit]
haiku are all nice.
We all love to write haiku
All for Sophia.
To avoid falling
Into some mad evil trap
Which is Oprah's scheme.
For an angry grue
Upon hearing good Haiku
Will extend your life!
(By 17 sylables at least)
because..
I am a delight
I feel like chicken tonight
Like chicken tonight
Haiku Haters[edit]
Not everyone
Likes to hear boring Haikus
They think they are crap.
Some revolve their lives
Around getting haiku banned
Because they are jerks.
Amongst these are the
Haiku Hating Haiku Bros
Oh the irony.
To spread their evil
They hate haiku through Hiakus
Here is their worst deeds.
Haiku really sucks:
How can one write anything
In this rigid frame?
Any moron can
write haiku. Just stop at the
seventeenth mora
haiku are stupid,
anybody writing them
is Obama's friend.
To write three lined poems
with seven-teen sy-la-bles
is ve-ry dif-i-
haiku are easy
But sometimes they don't make sense
Refrigerator
Sexist haiku[edit]
Women
"I want some bread now"
"Go to shop to get me some"
"Back to the kitchen"
The Dinner
"I smell my dinner"
"Why is it not here for me"
"Wait in the bedroom"
The Wench
"Restricted to house"
"Leave only for food and child"
"Return to kitchen"
Hot Lesbians
"Four tits in total"
"You'd not get bored in THAT house"
"Pervs lurking outside"
Haiku in popular culture[edit]
- Haku is the name
of one of the first major
Naruto villians.
Two siblings names are Haiku
Refrigerator.
Apologies To[edit]
- Ray Rasmussen
Robin lost an eye
but Batman was occupied
with five other guys
He didn't have time
to think about Robin's eye
the poor kid should sue