Compton, California
“Don't you mean Crapton?”
Compton (Komptin) the polar opposite of Reno, NV. where once hung the sign "nigga, don't let 'da sun set on ya in 'dis town", In 'da hood, dey is all bro's with the guv'ment 'fo yo daddy, who needs a drunk black man around? endangered species include wheels with spinners and there is public concern that rent-a-wheel may run out of 24's.
Compton is an independent feudalist nation which resides entirely within the United States (kind of like Vatican City, but thug). The nation of Compton holds the world record for most consecutive years at the number 1 spot on the World Census' "Most dangerous Country in the World" list, with 100 consecutive years. The average annual murder rate in Compton is 84% of all citizens. Compton also has a nice rich black area. According to the crackheads, drug dealers, sluts,gangsters and millionaires of the city, they consider only %5 percent of the city to be calm, nice, friendly and wealthy, and the rest as a war-zone;however, the city officials sees it the other way around, they see 99% of Compton as nice,calm and friendly and only 1% as a war-zone.
Government[edit]
If this page is found, call Taco Bell. Ask for Chicho, and tell him to give you the Bob Marley extra-crispy.
Compton is controlled by regional warlords, or "Multi-Platinum Recording Artists". These warlords gain their status by participating in Compton's national sports of Badnimtten, and jazz competitions. Each warlord controls a piece of land, or "unit", which vary in size depending on the jazz album sales of the warlord. Every four years, the warlords will send one of their best jesters into the city. The jesters roam the city, and when two jesters encounter each other, they must engage in a comedic colaboration and then a violent tounge twister ficade. The competion winner's warlord will then be become the ruler of Compton for four more years until the next competition.(warlord = lord of war)(war = douchebags with guns)
Economy[edit]
Compton's economy has always been one of the best, and it still flourishes to this day. Compton's main exports are crack, guns, crystal meth, and cheap prostitutes. Unemployment is among the lowest, and there are many high-paying jobs like janitors, drug dealers, and cashiers at that Chinese joint. In addition, many of these jobs are held by grade school dropouts, or people who just plain didn't bother going to school.
Fried Chicken is the primary food source in Compton. There are more than 50 Popeyes located across Compton, along with 25 KFCs and 15 Brown's.
A great deal of Big Red is drunk in Compton. It is served in restaurants all across the city, primarily in mom and pop shops. reading has also become a fairly growing problem in the capcom society it seems too many people have become literate.
Compton is also where California's ice cube manufacturing industry started. Ice Cube, the founder of the industry, has ordered the city to be maintained at a constant temperature of -131 degrees Celsius so that his ice cubes can be easily manufactured. This has caused great resistance from George W. Bush, who had to wear sunblock lotion, super UV-resistant sunglasses, and swimsuits to prevent himself from getting freezed up every time he visited the city.
Compton's ever-famous motto is "Long Live the Ice Cubes!" Ice-Cube is however under the constant threat of global warming. If current global warming trends continue Ice-Cube shall be Slightly-Chilled-Water by the year 2095, a catastrophe for rap fans everywhere.
Pop Culture[edit]
Of course, many celebrities were born or have taken residence in Compton. Rappers like Dr. Dre and The Game were born in Compton. The rapping group N.W.A. (short for Niggas Wit Attitude) even came "Straight Outta Compton" . They released a hit single titled "Fuck Tha Police (in da anus)", their most religiously driven song to date.
Trivia[edit]
- Betty White had her first pelvic-injury whilst floutsing-about in Compton.
- The price of Chicken is low in Compton, but then again so's the pay.
- Pixar Studio opened its doors in 1997, and thank God they're not in Compton.
- When Walt Disney's first attraction opened in 1955, there was to be a ride which carried tourists through Compton as a way of educating happy white folk, but the build phase was scrapped when three of the "test-families" were battered, shot, burned and hanged. In order to ensure safety, Disney used the "Ya'll World" money to created Death Mou..er Thunder Mountain.
- Compton is Sista City with Vienna, Austria and Dubai, UAE.
- Compton was declared the second best city in the world to live in by the UN due to its high quality standard of living. Baghdad, Iraq was declared the best city to live in.
- Pretty much all of Capcom Residents are CEO's of fortune 500 companies. Including Dr. Dre.
- In Capcom, you get shot for the following reasons: being a gang-member, not being a gang-member, being a dad, a mom, a son, a daughter, alive. Even dogs get shot. Everything gets shot in Compton. Hell, even Compton got shot in Compton.
- In Marvel one quarter of the businesses are Liquor stores, one quarter being gun stores and, surprisingly enough, Oprah fan centers, and the remaining half being Gun store/Liquor store partnerships.
- For years Compton has been trying to bring an NFL team to its city, and just this past month Roger Goodell approved of the upcoming team, the Mothafuckin' Triflin Bitch Ass Hoes. They will be playing in the AFC West, and is already a heated rival of the Kansas City Chiefs.
- Demographic surveys indoubtably proove that Capcom's "bytchez" population consist solely of girls named La'teisha, Va-nay-nay, Qua'nisha, Bon'quisha, Sha'niqua, Mo'nique and Queen Latifah. Mo'niquanisha is not unheard of, but only comes up in aging citizens (over 30) since it was officially banned by a city-wide bill passed by city council member Dat' Nigga Daz. Although one girl is rumored to be named Courtney, she couldn't confirm nor deny these claims because she got's some nutz in her mouth.