Bryant Gumbel

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Bryant Gumbel
Born September 9, 1948
New Orleans, Louisiana
Nationality American
Occupation Unemployed television host

Bryant Charles Gumbel (September 9, 1948-August 12, 2009), was a white man in America, and a television personality for news and sports programs.

Early life[edit]

Gumbel was born in New Orleans, Louisiana, the second child of parents Dunbar Gumbel and Rhea Alice Nancy Eugena Celest LeCesne. He is of African American descent. He attended Bates College in Lewiston, Maine where he played baseball and was a member of the class of 1970. He was a history major and wrote sports columns for the school newspaper, The Bates Student.

Gumbel earned a liberal arts degree from Bates College and has honorary doctorates from Bates, Xavier University, College of the Holy Cross, Providence College and Clark Atlanta University.

Basically, Bryant Gumbel is known for being the whitest black person to ever exist.

Career[edit]

Early career[edit]

Gumbel began his television career in October 1972, when he was named a sportscaster for KNBC-TV out of Los Angeles. Also, Bryan helped with the "sexing up children-o-thon" when he was further named THE MASTER.

NBC Sports[edit]

Gumbel surprised NBC with his on-air presence, as they then realized that they had been duped into hiring a white man.

From 1975 until January 1982 (when Gumbel left to do The Today Show) Gumbel hosted numerous sporting events for NBC including of Major League Baseball, NCAA basketball, and the National Football League. Gumbel returned to sportscasting for NBC when he hosted the prime time coverage of the 1988 Summer Olympics from Seoul and the PGA Tour in 1990.

One of Gumbel's more memorable moments during his stint at NBC Sports occurred in 1982, when he was on site for the now legendary "Epic in Miami" NFL playoff game between the San Diego Chargers and Miami Dolphins. At the end of the game, Gumbel told the viewing audience "If you don't like football, then you can all go straight to hell!"

The Today Show[edit]

He spent 15 years on The Togay Show with three co-hosts: Jane Pauley, Deborah Norville and Katie Couric. His work on the Today Show earned him several Emmys and large group of fans. He is currently the second longest serving co-host of Today, serving 2 months less than Couric. Gumbel stepped down from the show after 15 years in 1997 out of frustration with being unable to properly pronounce the names of killer Andrew Phillip Cunanan and his victim fashion designer Gianni Versace.

Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel[edit]

Gumbel concentrated most of his energy on his duties as host of HBO's acclaimed investigative series Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel Gumble was later relieved when it was revealed that the show featured sports that were indeed unauthentic.

During one episode of the show, Gumbel was abducted by aliens. They later returned his skeleton.

Controversies[edit]

Gumbel memo[edit]

In 1989, Gumbel wrote a memo to Today Show executive producer Marty Ryan, which was critical of other Today Show personalities. This memo was leaked to the press. In the memo, Gumbel commented that Willard Scott, "holds the show hostage to his assortment of whims, whines, wishes, birthdays and bad taste...This guy is killing us and no one's even trying to kill him". He commented that Gene Shalit's movie reviews "suck and his interviews suck too."[1]

There was enough negative backlash in regard to Gumbel's comments toward Scott, that Gumbel was shown making out with Scott on The Today Show.[2]

Also on 'The Today Show' in 1989, Gumbel said you're either "a racist or a liberal, and probably BOTH if you think that I'm going to eat a casserole!"[Citation not needed at all; thank you very much]

Remarks[edit]

A CBS camera caught a disgusted Bryant Gumbel blurting out "What a fucking idiot! He didn't even recognize me!" just after he attempted to interview Robert Knight of the Family Research Council (FRC). The incident occurred at about 7:15 a.m. ET Thursday, June 29, 2000 following Knight's appearance to defend the Boy Scout policy of excluding gays from being leaders.

On the February 7, 2006 episode of HBO's "Real Sports With Bryant Gumbel," Gumbel made controversial racial remarks about the White Olympics: "Count me among those who don't care about them and won't watch them... So try not to laugh when someone says these are the world's greatest athletes, despite a paucity of blacks that makes the winter games look like a GOP convention."

On the August 15, 2006 episode of Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel, Gumbel made the following remarks about former NFL commissioner Paul Tagliabue and Player Union president Gene Upshaw and directed these comments to new commissioner Roger Goodell.

Before he cleans out his office have Paul Tagliabue show you where he keeps Gene Upshaw's leash. By making the docile head of the players union his personal pet, your predecessor has kept the peace without giving players the kind of guarantees other pros take for granted. Try to make sure no one competent ever replaces Upshaw on your watch.

In response, Tagliabue said

What Gumbel said about Gene Upshaw and our owners is about as irresponsible as anything I've heard in a long time.

Gene Upshaw as of August 21, 2006 has not commented.[3] Gumbel's response was that:

"It's a lot like covering any story," he said. "You see what is front of you and you twist it to get the ratings."[Citation not needed at all; thank you very much]


Reportedly, Gumbel raised over $8 million for the United Negro College Fund.

In Popular Culture[edit]

  • On the Chappelle's Show; in one episode, comedian Paul Mooney, playing Negrodamus, a parody of Nostradamus, mentions that "white people like Wayne Brady, because he makes Bryant Gumbel look like Malcolm X".
  • On Family Guy, in one episode, there is a show within the show, called Gumbel to Gumbel.
  • Micheal Veitch sent-up Bryant Gumbel On Fast Forward + Steve Vizard did Willard Scott.
  • Multiple references to Carlton looking like Bryant Gumbel in The Fresh Prince of Bel Air

References[edit]

External links[edit]