Being cut off in the middle of a sentence
“There is nothing worse than bei -- I'll kill Google!”
Certain social norms hold during a regular conversation, without which communication would be impossible. Throughout history, mankind has endured, from superfluous adjectives to s-s-s-stuttering to suddenly screaming AAAAAA! in mid-sentAAAAAA!!!! Although this is completely dependent on what one would consider normal, we can come to the fair conclusion that being cut off in the middle of a sentence is generally annoying.
Many important oral presentations have been interrupted by unnecessary or irrelevant...umm...well...interruptions. Taking it out of that perspective, it happens daily, and those who commit this faux pas are generally labeled as a "dick".
Being cut off in the middle of a sentence is --
- When are you going to get to the point?
As I was saying, cutting somebody off in the middle of a sentence is usually perceived as being a gesture of impoliteness, and is typically grounds for a thorough ass-beating. It goes without saying, this should be a reciprocal arr --
- Do you talk like this all the time?
...this should be a reciprocal arrangement: everyone should have their turn during a conversation. Of course, a discussion can turn into an argument, when the purpose of gaining information turns into an attempt by --
- *cough*
...it will turn into an attempt by one side or both to win. The reasonable person, the one capable of constructing a correct sentence will naturally yield to the --
- Next paragraph.
You know what I'm going to say?! F** --
The Dynamics[edit]
There are several ways in which somebody can be cut off in the middle of a sentence:
The "I'm Still Breathing"[edit]
Often times, a person will feel the need to affirm that they are still alive during a conversation. This is usually done by the person who is listening repeatedly saying "yeah" or "uh-huh" while the person is --
- Uh-huh.
...is speaking.
I Have A Beep[edit]
Another common interruption is done while talking to somebody over the telephone. The person will either inform you that they have another incoming call during your sentence, and then quickly cross over to the other line (and later return after what seems like hours of waiting, only to inform you that the other person is more important and that they'll call you back later, which they really won't), or they'll simply put you on -- SUCK THESE CHINESE BALLS !
- Oh, as opposed to fakely?
Huh?
- You said they really won't. As opposed to fakely won't? You're using unnecessary --
Anyways. I forgot where I --
- Ugh. Hold on. Telephone.
Or they'll simply put you on hold.
Children[edit]
Children are notorious for interrupting conversations, and they always seem to find it convenient to do it mid-sentence. Even after being ignored several times, the persistence of a child often leads to --
- Okay back. I think I'm going to switch to Verizon.
Famous Incidents[edit]
Throughout history, there have been several notable incidents in which people were cut off in the middle of a sentence, only to lose their train of thought. Not previously mentioned were actions that cut somebody off in the middle of sentence, which may be but aren't limited to:
- Farting
- Coughing
- Yawning
- Assassinating (see below)
For example, on April 14th, 1865, Abraham Lincoln was assassinated. In the events immediately prior to his assassination, Lincoln was cut off in the middle of a sentence. Contrary to popular belief, Lincoln was not interrupted by the shot that was fired from John Wilkes Boothy's pistol. Instead, he was interrupted by his nagging wife, Mary Todd Lincoln, who decided to sigh during his sentence, which for the record was relating to how much he wished television was invented.
Having been dragged to the occasion by her, Lincoln expected his wife to have a rebuttal to his discontent with the outright boring scene, and had prepared himself for sleeping on the couch for the next week since he knew his wife would be displeased with his statement, as anybody else present at the time of the statement during that era would have, considering Lincoln was talking about a device which would not be invented until roughly one-hundred years after his time.
Unfortunately, he was --
- Yeah hi...Sprint? I'd like to cancel my service.
...he was --
- Assassinated! Hah! Huh? Oh no, not you.
Abraham Lincoln wouldn't be the only president who died before he could finish his sentence. John F. Kennedy would also suffer the same fate. However, unlike Lincoln, John F. Kennedy was interrupted by his assassination.
JFK was having a brief conversation with Texas Governor John Connally, who was sitting directly in front of Kennedy, when he was shot. Kennedy's last words were, "Yeah those are good. They make some pretty mean spicy chicken burgers. Oh, but have you had one of those...", and then he was shot. John Connally, who was also severely injured from the shooting, says he regrets never knowing what Kennedy was going to ask him. He would later claim that he was more haunted by never knowing what Kennedy was going to ask him than he was of witnessing the carnage of the assassination, and being injured himself.
There has been much speculation as to what Kennedy was going to say. Analysts have come up with the following theories:
- ...one of those steak burgers?
- ...one of those hemorrhoids?
- ...one of those new-fangled "popcorn chicken" tenders with hot sauce? I heard those are pretty good.
Other Forms of Interru --[edit]
- Wait. Didn't we cover this earlier? Here we go again, Mr. Inconsistent.
SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!
- ...