Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/December 9

December 9: Captain Planet Memorial Day, Corporate Web 2.0 Takeover Day

• 2303 BCE - Hallmark announces December 25 as International Day of Christmas.
• 6 BCE - 6 CE - Jesus is born. Nobody knows exactly when, though Christmas Zero is a huge success. Boxing Day sales start early. Astrologers around the world rejoice.
• 1337 - Time for a plagiarized, boring, cliched, 1337 reference! L0L!!1!ONE@.
• 1946 - The Doctor's trial for crimes committed during episodes of Doctor Who, begins at the BBC.
• 1958 - The John Birch Society is founded to fight the perceived threat of certain types of trees.
• 1960 - Coronation Street makes an unwanted appearance on British television for the first time.
• 1967 - Canada invades Greenland, prompting what most historians regard as the most boring war in the history of mankind.
• 1976 - The CIA fabricates much of the Western United States from balsa wood and duct tape.
• 1982 - December 8 outstays its welcome.
• 1984 - A Miracle happens; six people are amazed.
• 1990 - Lieutenant Planet promoted to Captain. Cartoon capers ensue.
• 2000 - Miracle fails to happen; thousands amazed.
• 2005 - Yahoo! acquires del.icio.us; thousands amazed.
• 2006 - Google acquires Uncyclopedia in retaliation. Nobody cares.
• 2078 - With the use of the Large Hadron Collider, Man successfully divides by zero, resulting in a rip in the Space Time Continuum, thus ending the world. God is said to be pissed.