Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Neptune
Neptune[edit]
Mimo&Maxus (Talk) 15:39, December 7, 2011 (UTC)
- I got it. --
13:17, December 10, 2011 (UTC)
| Humour: | 7 | First off, let me tell you that I enjoyed this article very much. However, there is much that you can improve on. Let’s go section by section.
Intro Pretty good, although a little rewording towards the end couldn’t hurt. I think that you should replace {{Cn2}} with {{Cn}} just because I think it would make the joke funnier. Also, if you want to be scientifically accurate, Neptune does indeed have rings although I’m sure that few people on Uncyclopedia know that. Neptune is a planet Seems a bit random, I would nix this section. Prog rock I like this section very much. The reference to the band is very well done (and very funny). However, I think that this would be better at the end of the article as sort of a goofy surprise that would contrast with physical descriptions of the planet. No life First off, I would change the title to just “Neptune has no intelligent life” as the title is unnecessarily long. The first line that says Neptune supports death is funny, although I think it would be funnier if you changed the reason for supporting death to have something to do with Neptune lacking a solid surface or something of that nature. Also, as I said before, I would remove the remaining references to the band. The alien part and the thing about Saturn seem a bit random and you might want to change them a bit or remove them. You might also want to say that Neptune does have life, just not intelligent life or something like that. Overall, this section seems a bit weak but definitely can be improved. Official report Also sort of random. I’m not really sure what the point of this section is but it’s mildly entertaining so you might just want to reword it. Picture The link for “Isn’t it amazing” is very subtle and very funny and got a laugh out of me although it would be better in the beginning as most articles have a picture of the thng that they’re talking about as the first picture. Very good though. |
| Concept: | 7 | I like the concept although I think that the article is a little too short. If you talked more about Neptune’s physical properties or the human discovery of Neptune, you could definitely add another section or two. |
| Prose and formatting: | 9 | Seems pretty good. I can’t find any typos although there may be one or two. Other than a little rewording here and there, the prose is fine. |
| Images: | 6 | Other than the last picture, the other pictures don’t really have much to do with Neptune. As I said before, I would put the last picture first if I were you since it would then allow you to add more pictures of neptune throughout the article like maybe a picture of the surface of Neptune showing that it has no life or a photoshopped pic of the planet with a guitar strapped around it for the prog rock section. |
| Miscellaneous: | 7.3 | Averaged using Template:Pee |
| Final Score: | 36.3 | Overall, a very nice article although I could use a little expanding and reworking. Very good job considering how hard it is to write a parody of a planet. |
| Reviewer: | 14:14, December 10, 2011 (UTC)
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but I can;t take the whole sentence with the picture of Neptune and put it in the beginning. How should I put the image? --Mimo&Maxus (Talk) 14:52, December 10, 2011 (UTC)
- As follows. -- 15:01, December 10, 2011 (UTC)
Neptune[edit]
Neptune is a planet.[big fat lie] It is far away in this galaxy and is one of the 9... er... that is, 8 planets of the solar system. It does not have rings and it has many moons. It is cold and has no atmosphere. Even thought it is represented as a blue planet, it is actually darker than the darkest dark side of the moon because it has no sun. Neptune often feels lonely because man will never reach it.
- I see... thanks man! :D --Mimo&Maxus (Talk) 15:03, December 10, 2011 (UTC)