Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/October 6

October 6 : Anniversary of the Invention of Fire, World's Most Dangerous Day to Be Flammable

• 4,327,340 BCE - Fire is invented. Matches, which had been in use for years beforehand, now finally have a use.
• 4,327,339 BCE - The competition to create the biggest bang results in the accidental creation of aerosols.
• 105 BCE - The Greeks invent a fire which doesn't go out when in contact with water. They call it "Greek Fire". It is quickly nicknamed AAAAAAAAA!
• 103 BCE - A hasty rebranding of Greek Fire goes wrong, and the newly renamed "AlphaFire+" is scrapped. Nobody bothers to write down the formula.
• 1081 - King Wilhelm IV of North West Prussia dies. The North West Prussia Gazette finally has front page news that doesn't involve the word "sauerkraut".
• 1611 - Several people are executed for petty theft in Hungary, much to the amusement of the Austrians, who framed them.
• 1612 - Hungary goes to war with Austria.
• 1613 - Several Austrians are extradited to Hungary, where they are executed for obstructing the cause of justice. Hungary withdraws from Austria, after 40 million people have died.
• 1846 - Mr. Georges "Bang-Bang" Firework, of Sparkler Street, Catherine Wheel, New Jersey, finally invents the trampoline.
• 1859 - Mr. Henry "Boing-Boing" Jumper, of Trampoline Terrace, Bouncy, Ohio, finally invents the firework. Various historians later switch the facts to amuse themselves.
• 1910 - People realize fireworks are better at night. It would be several centuries before it is also realized fireworks are better outdoors.
• 1913 - Parties are held throughout London, celebrating the fact that they have just signed a peace treaty with Germany.
• 1936 - An Austrian physicist discovers the long lost formula for AlphaFire+. Unfortunately, his lab then burns down.
• 1957 - Historians jump with joy as they discover what Edward Crapper invented.
• 2002 - The official date of the discovery of fire is discovered by historians. They attribute the discovery to Mr. Alfred "Burn-Burn" Hotstuff.
• 2012 - Pope Benedict XVI discovers his butler has been stealing his clothes and flogging them off a stand outside St. Peter's.
• 2018 - Brett Kavanaugh celebrates joining the USA Supreme Court by drinking out of a beer barrel. Head first.