Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/October 25

October 25: Shark Awareness Day

• 625 - Pope Boniface V is eaten by a blue shark. The Church reluctantly agrees that awareness needs to be raised but only does so for the clergy.
• 1147 - The Portuguese, under Afonso I, and crusaders from England conquer Lisbon after a four-month siege. They decide to celebrate by going for a swim. All get eaten by tiger sharks.
• 1655 - Shark arrives from the future, is promptly killed by puzzled Welshman.
• 1854 - The Charge of the White Van Men occurs, an infamous incident during the Battle of Balaclava. Free candy!
• 1936 - The Rome-Berlin Axis is created by Adolf Hitler, Benito Mussolini and a pack of great white sharks who were also great white supremacists.
• 1946 - A secret vote is held by the British parliament to enact the Gay and Lesbian Slavery Act.
• 1977 - Quinton "Quint" Quinton of Amity Island manages to over-identify a Great White Shark.
• 1977 - A renegade child eats dozens of sharks at Miami Beach. Panicked King Triton declares state of emergency and suspends civil liberties.
• 1979 - A Greenpeace activist dies after trying to train the first vegetarian shark.
• 1988 - The Gardners of Amity Island are cloned but due to DNA contamination, they come back as sharks.
• 1993 - Vincent Price dies.
• 1994 - Vincent Price's tomb found empty and a series of bizarre murders occur. Sharks are prime suspects.
• 2006 - All travel to Australia is banned when a shark eats a young child at beach wearing a raw steak swimsuit.
• 2007 - Jim Toomey, writer of the comic strip Sherman's Lagoon, is given honorary Cambodian citizenship.
• 2008 - (Morning) I can't find my keys. Sharks are to blame.
• 2008 - (Afternoon) I discover that I forgot they were on the table. Sharks are to blame.
• 2008 - (Evening) The goddamn car doesn't start. An alliance of sharks and malicious little green men is to blame.
• 2013 - The award-winning documentary Sharknado shows the plight of many species of sharks trapped in a tornado. It galvanizes viewers into supporting legislation to limit chainsaw shark fishing to months that have an "r" in them.