Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/March 24

March 24: International Do-It-Yourself Day, National Table Tennis Day (Singapore)

• 1857 - Oscar Wilde pens his story The Soul of Man under Socialism while under a Socialist man.
• 1943 - Jackson Pollock unveils his long-awaited third exhibition featuring the classic Angsty Orange Tiger.
• 1964 - The Ping Pong Incident occurs at my high school, and will torment me for over forty years until my son avenges me.
• 1991 - The first child is admitted to the hospital for phonics addiction in the beginning of a nation-wide pandemic, resulting in thousands of kids becoming hooked.
• 1994 - Kitty porn makes its first appearance on the primitive internet.
• 1999 - The world's first cyborg can't fix himself because he is broke.
• 2004 - Goku is affected by the Ping Pong Incident, putting his father in shame for 40 more years.
• 2008 - The Tea Room of Mercy Hospital, Australia, has its grand opening with hair in its tea, since the koala tea of Mercy is not strained.
• 2007 - The first human trials of Neuroipods suffer drawbacks when a vast majority of test subjects contract iEpilepsy.
• 2010 - Sarah Palin kicks off the first annual Alaskan Sasquatch Appreciation Day.
• 2043 - Ping pong becomes extinct after being shot by Dick Cheney as it is mistaken for a bike.
• 2044 - The Ping Pong Incident is never resolved.