UnTweets:Mr McElroyLand!
Name: John McElroy
Location: Scotland
Bio: Apathetic English teacher, probably not getting enough sex.
Following 0
Followers 1927
Mr McElroyLand!
Procrastinating; can’t do marking at this time of night. Might as well start being “trendy” instead.
11:35pm May 5th from web
Hating; 32 of the worst grammarians outside of the internet.
11:44pm May 5th from web
Giving Bs; not too good, not too bad; smiles all round and I can get an early night.
12:06am May 6th from web
Packing a briefcase for once; might as well try and look the part.
8:07am May 6th from web
Learning; Jackie is showing me how to do this through my phone.
11:19am May 6th from txt
Success! I can now officially do this wherever I like, supposing I have money to burn…
11:20am May 6th from txt
Remembering about those essays I left on my desk last night. Suppose this means I’ll have to spend tonight doing it properly.
02:35pm May 6th from txt
Basically in detention; cleaning graffiti off the toilet walls. Not fair, we can’t keep the kids here after 3:30!
03:31pm May 6th from txt
03:32pm May 6th from txt
Home. Eating egg and waffles, apparently this means I’m in need of a wife.
05:42pm May 6th from web
Marking; wish I had just left them all at B. Far too many are getting honest Cs and that makes me look bad.
09:10pm May 6th from web
Drinking. Whisky and Vodka are actually quite nice together. And I’m getting drunk a lot faster than expected.
10:24pm May 6th from web
Turning into my dad. Tripping out of my slippers and everything!
10:39pm May 6th from txt
Eating a bucket of aspirin.
07:39am May 7th from web
Shit, those were sedatives...
07:41am May 7th from web
Dunno... Probably shouldn’t be driving...
08:03am May 7th from txt
Why am I going to work? I might be dying.
08:22am May 7th from txt
Ah, that was nice. Just threw up, feel slightly more alive.
08:31am May 7th from txt
Fell asleep in class and my First Years drew on me. They're getting Cs regardless of wither they deserve them or not.
09:51am May 7th from txt
Having a fag in the toilets, glad to be alive.
11:15am May 7th from txt
Left the Third Years' essays in the car -.-
12:12pm May 7th from txt
Can't remember where I left my car. Don't think I locked it...
03:43pm May 7th from txt
Home, talking to insurance people.
04:27pm May 7th from web
Rewriting 32 essays from memory and then grading them. I should really consider reading "To Kill a Mockingbird".
06:13pm May 7th from web
Drinking apple Sourz with vodka.
08:14pm May 7th from web
Parties are much better if there are other people at them, but they're all sleeping :(
09:17pm May 7th from web
Snooker and football are exactly the same sport: in both you try and get the white ball in the net.
11:23pm May 7th from web
At least I can't make the same mistake again, there's only aspirin left in the cabinet.
07:03am May 8th from web
My car's on the news and it's full of heroin. Like to see the insurance company refuse me now.
07:23am May 8th from web
Why are they all being so nice to me? Is it because of the heroin?
09:12am May 8th from txt
Being arrested. I didn't run that red light! It was the drug lord.
09:15am May 8th from txt
Can't believe they took my phone off me! Anyway, I'm getting a new car but I still need to do those essays (the originals are evidence).
02:25pm May 8th from txt
I need a drink.
02:26pm May 8th from txt
Woohoo! Got the rest of the day off!
02:35pm May 8th from txt
Still need a drink though.
02:36pm May 8th from txt
Drinking and watching Countdown.
04:16pm May 8th from web
7, Fuckwit.
04:18pm May 8th from web
Heroin? 6? Is that the best he can do? Retard.
04:21pm May 8th from web
Right, essays...
04:35pm May 8th from web
Actually, I'll just make them do it. Say that remembering a good essay is the only reliable way of cheating.
04:37pm May 8th from web
Anyone ever tried Marmite and vodka? Not really a liquid but not a paste either. Makes the toast soggy.
05:38pm May 8th from web
Ugh, run out of aspirin. Think I'll call in sick.
07:12am May 9th from web
Ok, so not going to school, can catch up on some marking.
08:17am May 9th from web
Think I might have a hair-of-the-dog, first though. My head is killing!
08:19am May 9th from web
Skiving, I feel so naughty...
08:54am May 9th from web
No booze left, need to go get some - what if somebody comes over?
09:37am May 9th from web
Those kids should be in school. I'm so gonna grass on them if they don't bring a sick note tomorrow.
10:02am May 9th from txt
I thought offies were always open?
10:09am May 9th from txt
Pub, anyone?
10:10am May 9th from txt
Wow, you know how my car was stolen? I just met the guy who stole it! He's angry, thinks that it's my fault it wasn't roadworthy.
10:17am May 9th from txt
I'm trying to reason with him.
10:18am May 9th from txt
He's not listening.
10:18am May 9th from txt
He just pulled out a gun!
10:18am May 9th from txt
I am screaming in agony. Bullets REALLY hurt!
10:19am May 9th from txt
I am bleeding to death. These may be my last words... gotta make them good.
10:19am May 9th from txt
Oh, he mugged me, and then insulted my "worthless" phone and "terrible" dress sense. :/
10:23am May 9th from txt
On reflection I wish I had worn clean underwear today.
10:24am May 9th from txt
 Featured Article (read another featured article)
|
Featured version: 14 May 2009 |
| This article has been featured on the main page. — You can vote for or nominate your favourite articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH. | |