UnNews talk:Joe Schmidt "only good driver in the world!"
Pee Review[edit]
| Humour: | 7 | Note 1. “"I swear", he said after swearing a little” Funny little tidbit.
Note 2. “("high-paying, thank you very much," he is quick to point out) + "some fucking Jeep or something." Very good. The sentiments capture that endearing down-to-earthiness, salt-of-the-earthiness, and loveable crustiness characteristic of east coast folk. Note 3. "I was just so clutch. I didn't panic, I just braked, opened my window, and called him an asshole. Not once did I fly off the handle." The ease and poise with which Joe recounts his eventful drive provides ironic contrast to Jim calling the offending driver “an asshole” which coupled with Jim’s previous characterization as a crusty Nassau man makes the sentence all the more tickling and silly. Note 4. The second paragraph is quite the gem. It’s very humorous. Note 5. “The driver of the other car, driving instructor Timothy Lahey, conceded that his actions were callous and that Schmidt's quick thinking was "incredible." He then said, "I've never seen anything like it. He honked his horn and yelled at me so marvelously, it brought tears to my eyes." Good use of irony: it elicited a smirk. Note 6. “A competitor? Schmidt doesn't think so. "Lots of guys say they are, but no one did with as much force as me!" Strong words, the type which unemployed scientist Albert Feinstein ("it's fy-in-styne") says is characteristic of testosterone-infused men in mid-life crises. "I have nothing more to say about this," he stated.” This paragraph, especially the last two lines, are out of place with regards to the movement and scope of the article—-to the detriment of the humor of the article. Note 7. “Still, a title is a title, and Joe Schmidt has it. When asked about it, he said, "Yeah, it's a blessing and a curse. On the one hand, I just know that I'm getting sidelong glances from girls half my age because of it.” Funny, but resulted only with a smirk. Note 8. "But I'm still the best," he concluded. Timothy Lahey agreed. Mrs. Schmidt couldn't really care less and just wishes he'd talk to her more. Hector Ramirez, naturally, disagrees.” Firstly, the third line is just great. Very funny. Secondly, may one suggest putting the fourth line right after the second line. It provides a neat contrast to the preceding sentences and makes the following Mrs. Schmidt clause all the more unexpected and funny. |
| Concept: | 9 | Note 1. Excellent concept.
Note 2. I wasn’t expecting the other drivers’ accounts. A very fun idea. |
| Prose and formatting: | 7 | Note 1. Some of the prose is awkward.“On the other hand, it's quite a burden. Everyone's gunning for you: stopping short when yellow lights don't last, staying at a stop sign longer because some guy blew through it . . . you know, the usual. I even saw someone honk his horn when the person in front of them didn't go fast enough at the green light. It's rough, no doubt about it.” For example, this particular paragraph took me a while to comprehend. In my rereadings of the paragraph, I didn't understand whether Joe was identifying his own troubles or other people’s.
Note 2. “I kept my composure and cut him off purposely?” Also, before I forget, should there be a period in lieu of the question mark? I’m not sure what was the intent there. |
| Images: | 7 | The image is fine. The image neither detracts from nor enhances the strength of the article. |
| Miscellaneous: | 7 | Because I frequently found myself smirking as opposed to loling. |
| Final Score: | 37 | It's a very good concept. I was very much piqued when I initially looked at the title. As of right now, the article certainly is not bad; but not ready for VFH. The main reason is that the article elicited only smirks. But of course, that may easily be rectified with a little more axle grease and a little soul-searching. Godspeed. |
| Reviewer: | Mightydandylion 08:32, 16 March 2008 (UTC) | |
Nassau REPRESENT! --
TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 
02:00, 18 April 2008 (UTC)
