UnNews:Shortage of reindeer will delay Christmas presents
|A newsstand that's brimming with issues||✪||UnNews||✪||Saturday, January 22, 2022, 09:48:UTC)(|
|Shortage of reindeer will delay Christmas presents|
18 December 2021
NORTH POLE -- Santa Claus has issued a warning that Christmas deliveries in 2021 will be affected by a severe shortage of reindeer. This has led to toys, novelty gifts, electronic devices and clothes being stockpiled at Santa's warehouses in Greenland. He has blamed competitors like Amazon and DHL for 'stealing' his reindeer with offers of better working conditions and free sugar lumps, causing an extreme shortage of these beasts.
Santa said, 'I am afraid, boys and girls, that Christmas will be late this year. Naughty Amazon have got all our animals for their own deliveries. This is really serious. I could go out of business and my poor little elf workers will be forced to live on krill.'
To help plug the gap, Santa is training his elves with flying lessons to help clear the backlog of deliveries. Santa wasn't very clear how they were going to help getting the presents out but he did mention 'Santa's secret formula' and the use of drones: 'As far as I can see, Amazon are not actually using the reindeer for any work but to have them 'round their factories to keep their workers jolly. I said to Jeff Bezos that he is killing Christmas for an independent trader like me. He said, simply, "Good. Go and find another job, Beardy."'
Governments around the world have expressed concern that the traditional Christmas method of delivery will soon disappear for good. However, Amazon are good customers and...well...business is business. Santa has asked all the boys and girls to demonstrate on his behalf. Climate change activist Greta Thunberg has already tweeted her support for Santa Claus.