UnNews:Rocket Man finds Major Don
| Straight talk, from straight faces | ✪ | UnNews | ✪ | Thursday, November 21, 2024, 18:55:59 (UTC) |
| Rocket Man finds Major Don | 
|
20 September 2017
HOUSTON, Texas USA -- North Korean rocket man Kim Jong-Un confirmed he has found Major Don speaking 'in a most peculiar way' whilst in orbit around the Earth. In his fourth mission, Kim says Major Don will be brought back down to Earth the next time he test fires another missile.
Major Don first escaped gravity back in 1969 when his space craft Bone Spurs left New York to avoid going to Vietnam. Despite an alleged sighting by David Bowie in the early 1980s, it was believed Major Don had disappeared for good. Now that he has been found again, Major Don will have to learn how to live like a normal human being in the 21st century.
It's amazing he has survived so long, said a spokesperson for NASA. We were sure we had seen the last of Major Don. Now he is back on the radar and apparently will return completely unchanged from the time he first escaped Earth at the end of the 1960s.
The United Nations have sent a message to Kim Jong-Un congratulating on his rocket firing skills and that he was able to find Major Don when so many previous missions had ended in failure. The most recent being the much hyped 'Hillary expedition' which failed to get off the launchpad due to a technical failure of nerve.
Latest reports indicate that Major Don may have done a 'Benjamin Button' and will have turned into a baby by the time he lands back on the planet.
Sources[edit]
- Staff "Trump and Kim". The Guardian, September 20, 2017