Welcome to the Mother Ship of amateur comedy writing! (Amateur means we don't pay you to do it.)
This is where the original Uncyclopedia wound up. You might as well pick a user name. We have no "partners" that want to sell you stuff. Giving your email simply lets you recover your password; we don't send spam. Uncyclopedians get a talk page, private edit area, and a welcome, maybe, if you actually edit; and we won't de-platform you for your views, if they're funny.
UnNews:President Bush announces new heating cost savings plan
| Your A.D.D. news outl — Oooh, look at the pictures! | ✪ | UnNews | ✪ | Saturday, May 31, 2025, 09:32:59 (UTC) |
| President Bush announces new heating cost savings plan | 
|
28 April 2007
 |
UnNews Audio (file info) |
| Listen to this story! | |
Problems playing this file? You might be a dope. |
|
Washington, DC. - President Bush announced today a new plan to reduce office and home heating costs following the recent Iranian oil pricing problems in the Middle East. Hot on the heels of the tremendously successful daylight savings time changes, the White House today announced the adjustment of seasons to reduce fuel costs. The administration's previous daylight savings time plan slashed the heating costs of corporations by millions of dollars a year; adjusting office work hours to those in the warmer daytime, leaving the much colder night times for those returning home.
In the administration's radical new plan, President Bush has announced the elimination of the winter season. The White House quoted statistics that over 90% of home and office heating costs were accumulated during the winter months. By removing winter, and extending fall and spring to fill the gap, the administration hopes to slash heating costs significantly.
OPEC per barrel crude pricing fell 3.45% on the news.