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UnNews:President Bush announces new heating cost savings plan
| Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother? | ✪ | UnNews | ✪ | Monday, May 12, 2025, 19:01:59 (UTC) |
| President Bush announces new heating cost savings plan | 
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28 April 2007
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Washington, DC. - President Bush announced today a new plan to reduce office and home heating costs following the recent Iranian oil pricing problems in the Middle East. Hot on the heels of the tremendously successful daylight savings time changes, the White House today announced the adjustment of seasons to reduce fuel costs. The administration's previous daylight savings time plan slashed the heating costs of corporations by millions of dollars a year; adjusting office work hours to those in the warmer daytime, leaving the much colder night times for those returning home.
In the administration's radical new plan, President Bush has announced the elimination of the winter season. The White House quoted statistics that over 90% of home and office heating costs were accumulated during the winter months. By removing winter, and extending fall and spring to fill the gap, the administration hopes to slash heating costs significantly.
OPEC per barrel crude pricing fell 3.45% on the news.