UnNews:Pamela Anderson refused sanctuary

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19 June 2017

A typical refugee.

London, UK -- The Ecuadorean embassy in London has refused a request for asylum from ex-exhibitionist Pamela Anderson. Ms Anderson had presented herself as a refugee from a region of conflict, who was likely to face life-threatening disinterest if she was forced to return to her country of origin.

A spokesperson from the embassy stated, "Senora Anderson's request has been carefully considered, but we do not accept that either Canada or the United States of America is sufficiently dangerous, nor that disinterest is a life-threatening condition. After all, hardly anybody knows who our president is and he has survived.

"In addition, the presidential suite at the embassy is already occupied, and although Ms Anderson has volunteered to share it, we have spent quite enough money keeping Mr Assange out of the clutches of countries that we don't like. We have tried to get rid of him to several countries that we pretend to like, but so far with no success."

Ms Anderson made a personal request to the Prime Minister of Southern England and Northern Ireland and Maybe the Midlands to support her in this desperate bid for notoriety. When the Prime Minister was too busy attending disasters, including her attempts to form a government, Ms Anderson turned upon her, declaring that she was the worst Prime Minister in living memory. Thus far, no report of the state of Ms Anderson's memory has come to light.

Ms Anderson is currently staying at the Soho Hotel, in the Displaced Persons' Penthouse, awaiting legal advice and giving daily press conferences.

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