Welcome to the Mother Ship of amateur comedy writing! (Amateur means we don't pay you to do it.)
This is where the original Uncyclopedia wound up. You might as well pick a user name. We have no "partners" that want to sell you stuff. Giving your email simply lets you recover your password; we don't send spam. Uncyclopedians get a talk page, private edit area, and a welcome, maybe, if you actually edit; and we won't de-platform you for your views, if they're funny.
UnNews:Obama touts ice cream bailout success
We have met the enemy, and he is us | ✪ | UnNews | ✪ | Monday, April 7, 2025, 18:31:59 (UTC) |
Obama touts ice cream bailout success | ![]() |
19 November 2010
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Obama Administration announced Thursday that the federal bailout of the ice cream industry has been a "delicious success" as public shares of Baskin-Robbins hit the stock market today, raising a record $20 billion in revenue.
"Such a success would have been unimaginable only two years ago, but now all our favorite flavors, like Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough, have a secure future," Obama said.
Many critics argue that the bailout was unnecessary, and many point out that Ben & Jerry's didn't take the bailout and are still showing a profit this year. But few can argue that a collapse of the $500 billion ice cream industry would have been catastrophic for the economy and American workers.
Economists warned that a "sprinkle-down effect" could have hit other sectors, such as waffle cone manufacturers and napkin makers.
Obama celebrated the reemergence of Baskin-Robins by having an ice cream party for all the staffers in the White House press room.
Sources[edit]
- Wire staff, "Obama: GM's stock sales show tough decisions paid off". CNN, November 19, 2010