UnNews:Nobody gives two shits that the world ends in one week

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Truth doesn't "live here" — It's just camping out UnNews Friday, April 19, 2024, 23:03:59 (UTC)

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14 December 2012

Pool party!

Everywhere, Earth, Mllky Way, To infinity and beyond --

Hey! I'm back again! You still believe we are all going to be saved? Such foolishness! Such foolishness! Well, we're all going to die in a week and I'm tired that no one gives two shits. Well guess what? I did it with my ELA teacher, baby! YEAH! See you in Hell!

What? You wanna know what it felt like? That's classified, dude. Though it felt better than meteors hitting the stratosphere, which explode, and that's what Michael Bay likes. And that's what we are all going to feel! Dude, i'm losing my mind! But hey, are you with me?

Check back next week where I will be reported live on Doomsday! MWAHAHAA!

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This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.