UnNews:McCanns to unveil entertainment extravaganza

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Every time you think, you weaken the nation —Moe Howard ✪ UnNews ✪ Sunday, December 22, 2024, 07:12:59 (UTC)
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4 July 2007

Joe Longthorne during his world renowned Kurt Cobain tribute tour in 1994

THE FATHER OF the missing four-year-old Madeleine McCann is to address TV executives about the possibility of producing a one off TV comedy and music entertainment extravaganza in the hope of further shifting focus away from the wilfull neglect of his children. Gerry McCann will appear at the UK's leading media industry event, the Edinburgh TV Festival, in August.

"I think we can probably look at doing something on the scale of the Eurovision Song Contest, or something", one TV Mogul said last night, "anything we can do to shift focus away from uncomfortable questions about the McGanns conduct as parents has got to be a good thing, doesn't it?"

And in a major coup it has also emerged that entertainment giant Joe Longthorne is to headline the comedy and music entertainment extravaganza, "I look forward to doing my famous Shirley Bassey set, which I haven't performed on prime time TV since 1983!", he said last night.

Mr McCann hopes to sign up such entertainment behemoths as Jim Davidson and Bob Monkhouse in a comedy / music entertainment extravaganza. 80s quiz show host Jim Bowen, of "Bullseye" fame expressed his support of the idea, "I will happily do a turn on stage if it helps in focusing all the limelight on these white, middleclass parents and away from the uncomfortable reality of their indirect responsibility in their poor daughters plight. Super, smashing lovely!"

Ant & Dec have been also been rumoured to be pencilled in as possible hosts for the proposed comedy and music entertainment extravaganza. It is hoped they can inject a bit of their own carefree geordie humour to direct attention away from the horrific and tragic events that have inspired the current media frenzy. It is hoped that the comedy and music entertainment extravaganza will be put to air before Christmas.

Madeleine McCann was unavailable for comment last night.

Sources[edit]

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