UnNews:Kim Jong-Un cheesed off by North Korea?
| We distort, you deride | ✪ | UnNews | ✪ | Friday, May 9, 2025, 17:45:59 (UTC) |
| Kim Jong-Un cheesed off by North Korea? | 
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5 October 2014
PYONGYANG, North Korea -- North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un has turned into a slice of Swiss cheese, in a shock new development in that country's peculiar history. A recently leaked photograph shows Kim Jong-Un looking at his breakfast menu, but now with a distinctly 'cheese wedge head'. It has put the 'pong' in Pyongyang, says South Korean news media.
The recent non-appearance of Jong-Un had been put down to 'fatigue' and 'trying to breed more little dictators' with his current wife Ri Sol-ju. Now the shocking truth has been revealed: Kim Jong-Un has turned into cheese. This has been put down to the porky dictator's obsession with cheese, especially the Swiss variety. North Korea watchers are saying that perhaps Kim Jong-Un has been 'cheesed off', local parlance for 'rubbed out'.
Nations around North Korea have been put on the highest alert, as the shock transformation of 'Fat boy' Kim into a dairy product long associated with the West was leaked out.
"With the trouble in Hong Kong, those pesky islands in the South China Sea, and a South Korean film making fun of the Japanese, Kim Jong-Un's turn towards a hard cheese is making this part of Asia a real headache for the White House," said a CIA agent known as Mr Blue Fromage. "The repercussions of a power mad lunatic becoming a slice of cheese haven't been properly evaluated. If Jong-Un was going to turn into anything, we expected a cockroach like his father Kim Jong-Il did at the end of Team America." Other intelligence sources say that, given the diet of the rest of the nation, it would have been more appropriate to transform into a piece of tree bark.
World leaders meeting in the United Nations have agreed to call the Security Council to see what the response should be. Cheese jokes will be off the menu in case there is 'Cheddargeddon' in 2014.
Sources[edit]
- Staff "Kim Jong-Un cheese and disappearance mystery". Daily Mail, October 05, 2014