UnNews:Freedom poses rhetorical questions, remains unemployed

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15 August 2023

Enes Freedom, not wearing a dress or a wig. He no longer wears the green and white either.

BOSTON, Massachusetts -- Basketball player Enes Freedom posed a rhetorical question to NBA executives, from outside the league, where he remains.

Freedom asked his audience if it would be fair if he dressed as a woman and played in the Women's Basketball League.

The league seems to have shrugged its shoulders about the man's plans to claim to be a woman, as he is a Turk claiming to be an American, and his birth surname is Kanter though he now claims it is Freedom. He posted his rhetorical question on Twitter, which now claims its name is X.

Soccer player Megan Rapinoe stated that one more claim wouldn't change anything. She herself has claimed to be an American sports hero for years. Swimmer Riley Gaines, who has complained about Lia (née William) Thomas's claim to belong on the U.Penn. women's swim team, opined that Freedom would look much better in a wig, especially one with frost highlights. Dressing as a woman is no guarantee, as none of the other players in the Women's League wear dresses on the hardwood either.

Freedom played basketball for 9 years, most recently for the Boston Celtics, a tenure that came to an abrupt end over his previous claim, that the lucrative relationship between the NBA and Communist China was unseemly. The Celtics were immediately banned from Chinese television, until Freedom was informally banned from the NBA. Freedom thus became an ideological bookend of San Francisco football player Colin Kaepernick, who had claimed that the U.S. national anthem was unseemly. It was the free-speech analog of a wild gutterball that manages to knock off both the 7- and the 10-pin, as the men agree on absolutely nothing except that it sucks having no gainful employment except claiming that their lack of the same is the result of a sinister conspiracy. The scouting report is that each man runs an impressive 100-yard dash despite carrying a ton of baggage.

However, if Freedom really wishes to put on a wig, one job he could easily get is State Representative from Nashua, New Hampshire.