UnNews:Donald Quixote declares war against wind

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Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother? UnNews Sunday, December 22, 2024, 01:30:59 (UTC)

Donald Quixote declares war against wind UnNews Logo Potato.png

24 December 2019

Don and Giuli.

Washington D.C., USA, 17th century -- Donald 'Don' Quixote has saddled up and put on XLL armour to take on the deadly windmills that are threatening the USA. With his favourite lawyer Sancho Pants Onfire riding with him on a jackass, the heroic duo are to slay the beasts of sunshine and wind.

Quixote claims he has had studied this subject by watching Fox News and is now the world's top expert on the matter

We're taking these forces on, said Don Quixote, lifting up his visor. Solar panels and windmills are socialism, we must fight against them now! I have my armour on now. Let's make Spain Great Again!

Quixote says the windmills are really Democrats in disguise. He says they want to sneak up close and 'mess up my hair'. Sancho Pants Onfire says he is there to provide legal advice for Quixote if any hookers from Ukraine are involved.

The pair were last seen riding into the sunset. They were heard singing Windmills are all in Our Minds.


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