UnNews:Customs agreement leads to mini big bang

Democracy Dies with Dignity

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UnNews

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Thursday, November 21, 2024, 15:31:59 (UTC)

10 November 2010

Collision leads to big bang

GENEVA, Switzerland -- The European Union finalized a customs agreement with Switzerland, allowing particles in CERN's Large Hadron Super Collider to cross the French border more quickly. The collider, the world's largest machine, straddles the border of France and Switzerland.

Until this agreement was reached, particles were required to stop at the border and present tiny little sub-sub atomic passports.

This week, CERN announced, as a result of the increased speed attained, the creation of a miniature Big Bang. Penny was not present for the event, as the actress portraying her was still recuperating from a fall. It was not a great fall, as all the King's horses and all the King's men were able to put Penny together again.

In honor of the event, both countries agreed to stop calling process cheesefood, fromage merde Americaine. They will begin calling it Hadron Super Merde. The new Miniature Big Bang will be formated to fit the smaller screens of mobile devices.