UnNews:Cops found innocent after thorough investigation

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17 January 2009

Sweden, Luleå -- After the last of the hearings it is now official that the two cops acted as everyone should and would have done in the same situation. His lawyer Sven was recorded saying "The officer did nothing wrong and its not like he hit that many things anyway".

A common sight in Luleå

If you can't remember or couldn't care because you live to far away it was in late september last year that an arrest went wrong in Porsön Luleå. After receiving a call about an ongoing robbery; 2 helicopters and 12 of Luleås finest officers were sent to apprehend the 3 suspects. Equipped with flashbangs and MP5s the task should have gone flawlessly and almost did, until one of the suspects raised his plastic semi-automatic DE44. In a wisely chosen act of self defense two of the officers opened fire. Responsibly one of them shot 2 rounds which hit the suspect in the right shoulder and left leg. The other officer on the other hand went for a more subtle approach and layed out covering, suppressing, but mostly devastating, fire.

He went on to hit one house with 6 shots, another one with 2 shots, one car with 2 shots, another one with 3 shots and a third car with 7 shots. Some neighbours even claim he actually reloaded in between cars to make sure he'd hit a tire; and of course not a single shot came even close to the suspect. After this incident, the officer who actually hit the suspect was temporarily supsended awaiting an investigation to discover why he'd gone and hit a leg when one shot in the right shoulder was enough. Having missed to hit that tire his colleague was suspended as well but was recently found to have "kept his cool instead of panicking" and was therefore released.