UnNews:Arab nations reform without occupation; US doubtful

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Every time you think, you weaken the nation —Moe Howard UnNews Tuesday, July 23, 2024, 22:05:59 (UTC)

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24 February 2011

Woo-hoo! It can be done without IED's! Who knew?

CAIRO, Egypt -- In a stunning display of unfounded if endearing self-confidence this winter, the populations of several Middle Eastern nations have decided to forgo the illegal-invasion-by-a-foreign-imperialist-superpower option and have opted instead to attempt regime change against their respective unelected dictators by making unprecedented use of the little-known and rarely implemented "Consent of the Governed" theory of political science.

The people of Egypt, acting under the admirable if pitiful fantasy that the never-before attempted idea of real democracy is even humanly possible, have successfully removed their dictator and are today standing around staring at each other wondering how this election thing is supposed to work. "I mean," said Abdel-Rahman Samir, a Cairo protester heavily involved in the whole unseating process, "I've never even been to electoral college. I have no idea what to do next."

Meanwhile, the people of Tunisia and Libya are still in the toppling process, and have not yet begun to think about that wonderous, if not really realistic, future. When asked why they didn't simply wait for some greedy, oil-hungry, militarily superior imperialist regime, such as, say, the United States of America, to come in and unseat their intelligence-organization-planted friends and tear down the statues themselves, Libyan and Tunisian freedom fighters simply said, "Wait, what? No, we said we want democracy. Are you even paying attention?"

While there are those who entertain the wild-ass notion that some semblance of so-called quote-unquote "democracy" may emerge from all this ballyhoo, those people are obviously absolute loo-loos, because everyone knows that would mean the rise to power of a bunch of dark-skinned people who hate freedom and Miley Cyrus, and that, of course, is "outrageous and unacceptable."


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This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.