The Pogues
“You can kiss MY arse...”
The Pogues were a group of IRA terrorists that decided to become a band after blowing up stuff became too dangerous. It was formed by weapons expert Peter "spiderman" Stacy who crawled up walls and planted bombs on bridges and Shane MacGowan who talked big but did not do any of the actual blowing up so they made him the singer.
Over a prolonged period of time they maintained a campaign of terror on the Dark Streets of London and their 2001 attack remains the subject of boogie stories and other fairytales in New York. They would regularly organise atrocities around St Patrick's Day and across the UK and Ireland.
Band Members[edit]
- Shane "FEKGERLSARSE" MacGowan - Lead Mumbling and Shuffling
- Spider "I'll stick this tinwhistle up yer arse" Stacy - Loud Noises
- Caitlín O'Elvis - A Woman
- James "I can tune my instrument, if you know what I mean" Fearnley - Large Organ
- Jem "couldn't hit a cow's arse with a banjo, and believe me, I've tried" Finer - Cow's Arse
- Andrew "If she bangs the drums, I'll smash her face in" Ranken - Raspberry and milk drumstick
Career[edit]
First Albums[edit]
The Pogues first album was called Red Soda For Me, and provided a standard template and methodology for their latter works. Shane, in a drunken interview in 1992 stated "Yer alla bunchacunts......wer playin coz we fekkin hates ya". The Pogues had discovered that they could do much great damage to their intended victims through the use of musical instruments than they ever could through guns and incendiary devices. Their song Waxie's Dargle scared 200 British people to death as they they could not stand all the shouting at once.
Their next work was a concept album based on life in the British Navy called Sodomy, Sodomy and more Sodomy for good measure. Several songs were used later in the soundtrack for Brokeback Mountain II. Their original album art was deemed too horrific and sick to be shown in public so they changed the artwork to a picture of a nice boat instead.
They Pogues released a small album in between their 2nd and 3rd works. It was titled Sodomy in Motion, It's songs
- Bum the Girl
- A Gay Night In Soho
- The naked body of an American
- Fuck Me Noel Hill!
Next Albums[edit]
The band remained sober enough to record several albums including the Samuel Beckett inspired "If I Should Fall From Grace With Godot, When He Gets Here". Following a relaxation of the terrorist laws after the Good Friday Agreement, the Pogues undertook a tour of some of the most dire shiteholes in Northern England, which would inspire their 5th release "Hull's a Bitch".
In 1989 The Pogues recorded their 4th album Steak and Chips. It included the song Shite City that referred to London, and Shitty Morning, Shitty Bridge which also referred to London.
After Their fifth album Shane MacGowan- tired of having the mickey taken out of him because he never blew stuff up- organised a terrorist act on canary wharf. Unfortunately, before he got there, he drunkenly fell in front of a train to West Rieclip. As MacGowan was now just a wreck, the other members of the Pogueschucked him out of the band. They replaced him with the thickheaded singer of Punk band The Matching: Joe Stroppy. After The Pogues, MacGowan joined The Pope in the Vatican and made 2 new albums: The Serpent and The Crock of Gold, Frankincense and Muir.
The remaining Pogues then made 2 albums without Shane that nobody gave a shit about. The 6th one being Waiting for somebody to make a song now Shane's fucked off was their worst album so far. it contained the song It's a fucking Tuesday Morning which was their last song to get a nice word said about it.
The Pogues' last album was called Pogue Mahone! which stood for We're pretending to be Irish in English.
After reforming the band in 2004 The Pogues have talked about an 8th album with songs such as "How is Shane still alive?", "Are we Irish?" and "Twinkle twinkle little star". The name of the album has not been decided yet, but Spider Stacy has said that the favourite title at the moment is "We Drink Diet Coke Now!"