Spygate

Spygate is a term derived from an ancient Sumerian term meaning Grasping at Straws. The word was often used in ancient times when the mind of a person became overwhelmed due to cognitive dissonance or because of a base desire to think about nothing but golf. Recent attempts to make Spygate into a meme has been directed by the Even-Deeper Deep State in order to distract the public from noticing how much a particular leader plays golf.

Stonehenge - site of the original Spygate break-in.

History

The earliest recorded use of the term 'Spygate' is attributed to a ancient biblical myth of Eve, a woman in the Garden of Eden, who was grasping at straws when she blamed a Serpent for her sin and then accused the slithering beast of being a spy. In fact, this was just a diversionary technique by Eve to show how gullible men can be. However, this same diversionary technique was eventually employed by Adam-- and then by men throughout history--to blame women for their own screw-ups.

The Spygate Break-In

The most famous Spygate incident occurred at 400 BC, when five burglars conspired to penetrate the gaps between the rock slabs at Stonehenge. While the objective of the burglars has never been fully understood, modern economic theory suggests that the trespassers were determined to steal grubs in the soil for food purposes. Their arrest and conviction would lead to the unveiling a widespread clandestine network of grub thieves and the eventual downfall of the president of Tasty Grubs Inc.

Modernly

In recent times, the concept of Spygate has been resurrected in an attempt to confuse people who are actually too confused to pay attention to things that aren't really that confusing.

Even-Deeper Deep State

The Even-Deeper Deep State is a very deep state that is so profoundly deep, that once a participant is at the Even-Deeper level, one can no longer fathom the more simplistic Deep State. The C.O. Network is believed to operate within a restroom at a still-operating Blockbuster Video store in Palm Springs, Alaska. The team is believed consists of of two retirees and three teens. They are said to devote the majority of their time to promoting the 'Spygate' meme because they are bored and can't get dates.

Adaptations

In 2016, Microsoft announced plans to launch “SpyGate 1.0” for its XBox 360 console game system. The rumored objective of the game was for the user to avoid criminal prosecution by creating fake conspiracies as a diversion so that you can play video golf within the game. Microsoft later abandoned the Spygate 1.0 effort, claiming spies from the Playstation divison of Sony were spying upon Microsoft spies. In response, the Federal Trade Commission launched an in investigation into the two companies. A consumer watchdog group then accused the Federal Trade Commission of political bias in the probe. This was followed by a class-action suit against the watchdog group charging them with gender bias.

Opinions

Several famous journalists, thinkers, and personalities have commented on the issue of Spygate:

"This is the greatest thing that never happened since the very beginning of things that never happened" - Rene Decartes

"I'm outraged at this thing that I refuse to comment on anonymously!" - Anonymous.

"Spygate is the Watergate of all Benghazi Gates in the universe of Iran-Contra-Whitewater-Teapot-Dome scandals, second only to the New Coke controversy" -- a Pepsi executive.