Spooktober

' this is a Spooktober follower. Observe carefully.

“ Oh shit, Spooktober! I never got into the religion, but it’s one of the few things that gives me emotion!”

~ Oscar Wilde on Spooktober

Overview

Spooktober is an annual celebration of skeleton diversity, from the mexican esqueletos to american spooky bois. It’s come to have been known by several distinct names, such as Spooky Season, Holy Shit A Skeleton, and, more recently, Sp0oKtAcUlArtImEContrary to popular belief, Halloween is a separate Religion from that of Spooktober. In fact, according to The Most Glorious Elders of Spooktober, the ultimate followers of doot, Halloween is a trick employed by Capitalism scum to trick dootiphiles (followers of Spooktober) from glorious Communism. It is said that one glorious Spooktober night, the prophet of doot, Jack Skellington, will rise and bless the holy dootiphiles. The main religious practice of doot worship, according to The Most Glorious Elders of Spooktober, is to updoot spooky posts, work on your most spookiest skeleton suits, updoot spooky posts, shoot kids in Fortnite Skeleton Trooper costumes, updoot spooky posts, and finish your Spooktober shrine.

History

In the beginning, there was nothing. Then there was God. But before God, before the beginning, there was Doot, the lord and savior of all Skeletons. His Trumpet’s roar harkened all creation to begin, and then, the first false deity, Yahweh, or God, was created. Ever since, their battles have raged, one of god’s most recent strikes is the great Spooky Meme Death of Spooktober 2018.

A common depiction of doot, savior of Spooktober.

Notable Followers

• Mike Myers: After his big break in movies, Mike seeked religion, and was abducted as he searched the streets. His captors were extremist dootiphiles, but instead of fearing Spooktober, he embraced it, and rose to the near top, until he face lift for his next big break, and they saw him as an outsider. They took him to Yale College, inside an ICT course room, and stuck needles into his head, until he slowly became a skeleton.
• Gordon Freeman: MIT Professor Gordon Freeman, before the Black Mesa Incident, stumbled upon a student sect of supposed nerds at their Spooktober Bloodstone Circles, and felt the power of Doot inside him. Immediately, he wanted in. His initiation ceremony was abnormally quick, as the presence of Spooktober was immediately apparent. The very helpful students assisted Gordon in choosing the Bloodstones that were right for him, and he loved Spooktober with all his heart. He was then arrested for rape, pedophilia, and determinate sexuality.

Religious Customs

The customs for dootiphile culture are extremely interesting, including such things as giant skeleton org—-

Well, that motherfucker’s finally dead. Let me tell you, he evaded me for quite some time, but I got that little boy! Anyways, before I clean up this body, let me get these Spooktoberian religious customs down. The giant skeleton org—-

Aftermath

In the aftermath of the great Spooktober war, th—-

Oh, what’s that, Karen?

That hasn’t happened yet?

Well, fuck.

Anyways, there never was a war on Spooktober, and never will be.