Society for Crappy Accents
The Society for Crappy Accents (or SCA for short) is a non-profit organization devoted to studying and creating the monarchy, oligarchy, and every otherarchy out there.
It was established in 129 BCE to convince the populace to pay for kings, queens, earls, and dukes, in addition to rabbis and TV game show hosts.
For the most famous accomplishment of the SCA we're eternally indebted to the Earl of Sandwich, who invented Hawaii. We now owe him our collective soul, and all the clean underwear he can drink.
Creative Anachronism[edit]
The SCA in its current incorporation is typically composed of people who are too lazy to play Dungeons and Dragons and too slow to catch their own sheep.
And you don't even want to know about Pennsic, an annual two-week camping event in which SCA'ers are turned loose on Pennsylvania and allowed to play with swords, knives and long, pointy things.
Leading member of the SCA, Michigan resident Michael Stevens, has this to say as to why crappy accents exist, citing the Australian accent:
| “ | Accents change from region to region even within countries. Heck, I've often been able to tell which city bus stop people are going to get off at from the sound of their conversations. Spoken language cannot be converted perfectly into written language. There are too many nuances. People learn the sound of words from each other, not from books. The slightest little "mistake" will transfer from one person to the next, and over the course of generations they will shape that region's dialects and accents. | ” |
The danger they pose to themselves and others is severe enough that handmaidens of SCA-obsessed lads often must turn to polyamory or to polyandry, the practice of marrying multiple husbands all named Andy or Andrew, to ensure that at least one will return alive and intact from this perfectly senseless exhibit in Middle Ages and Renaissance bloodshed.
Notable Individuals[edit]
The most notable individual in the SCA (just ask her) is Duchess Dogerina. She's an obnoxious boor who uses her huge backside to bully people into doing things her way (the only right way), and regularly espouses her long list of non-existant silly rules.
She is often accompanied by the SCA's other Notable Person, Duke Mahnyoucannotpronounce, easily identified by his long unkempt hair and tantrums in which a loosely coiled crown made from some kitchenware flies off his head.
This guy is also a notable SCA individual; Robin Hood
And this guy; Lord Byron
And this guy too! Dante. So there's that.
Medieval vs. Modern[edit]
Having shires, kingdoms and baronies, the SCA makes use of its territories with assigned leaders to govern the masses. As opposed to state, nation and world leaders. Except the leaders of SCA are living in the past and world leaders today are living in the future. SCA wants to re-create wars, Real World Leaders wants to "plan" wars. See the difference? My money's on the Real World Leaders kicking the asses of the SCA because they obviously haven't learned from history being as how they keep dressing up in potato sacks and doilies they call garb! Most of the land gets sectioned off by way of zip codes and the postal service is often the scene of mobs, riots and disgruntled armored mailmen. Small shires try to be especially nice to the bigger domains but fail to keep a large group together because too many Indian chiefs wanna play Indian King of France or some such goofy pirate thing. Waving schlagers around and batting away at the mysterious blue boxes where maile is rumored to be. Villages scattered all over the place never seem to realize that even one burger joint, a bank and a shopping mall somewhere within a 20 mile radius is a sign of civilization. Considering that those things are primtitive in their own little world of junk food, mafia banksters and evil merchants.