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“Honestly, I don't know why they even try to create music. They are Devo knockoffs, although the soft-core Paul McCartney covers are interesting.”

~ Axl Rose on Polysics


~ Jesusland on POLYSICS

Polysics are a band which plays the usual techno-rock instruments, loudly. Many consider them the flashiest cultural achievement of Japan in the last four years. Yawn. Their song lyrics often consist of unintelligible Japanese, broken English, or just plain gibberish, a strategem which avoids the difficulty of writing lyrics that mean something. Polysics call this nonsense "Spazz Language." The band has been noted for hopping around like speed-crazed chimps during live performances, and their wild gimcrack outfits are reminiscent of David Bowie's Ziggy Stardust without the sequins. Hideous Hakahairbal describes their genre as "Chimp Punk Argawargah [unintelligible]."

Chimps groove to Polysics.

Current Status[edit]

Currently, Polysics are beginning to spread their high-energy Chimp Punk across the world. In 2000 they released their first nocturnal emissions in Venezuela, and with the release of their newest squid-based propaganda weapon Now It Is Slime! in both the Botswana and Monaco, they are in solid position to make more money than even Lucy, the talking chimp. In more enlightened parts of the world, Polysics have been recognized as yet another more-of-the-same usual mainstream band.

Some, of course, consider them God.

Some said that about Jimi Hendrix, Curk Cobain, and Jerry Lewis, too.

But this, insist the fans, is the real thing. They really are God, all of them.

In Japan, Polysics logo, a letter Q in a white hypersphere against a safety-orange background with a superimosed smiley face, has become ubitquious to the point of nausea. Polysics music can be heard on many corporate-controlled radio stations, at least those whose playlists are selected by polling chimpanzees. Polysics breakfast cereal has become the national food, primarily because of its high cocaine content. Office workers who begin their day with a bowl of Polysics cereal have tripled their productivity and, in most cases, attacked and killed five or more of their co-workers.

Polysics Albums[edit]

Polysics Exploitation Products[edit]

(This is a partial list)

  • Business Suits
  • Breakfast cereal (POLY-Crack)
  • Children's diapers (POLY-poopoo)
  • Fast-food raw squid (POLY-Slime)
  • Polysics University
  • Polysics Catheters
  • Pocky
  • PlayStation Game consoles