Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/October 12

October 12: International Day of Using Bible Verses for Any Purpose Whatsoever

• 32 CE - At the Last Supper, Bartholomew gets the last dish of the new UltraChocolate Supreme Haagen-Dazs ice cream. Jesus wept.
• 1322 - As being hauleth up the cliffs of insanity, Vizzini informeth Fezzik "Behold now behemoth, which I made with thee; he eateth grass as an ox. Art this not conceivable to thy smallish cranium?"[1]
• 1492 - Christopher Columbus placeth the first "John 3:16" sign in the New World.[2]
• 1493 - Despite a heavy schedule of beating and selling slaves, Christopher Columbus manages some time to name a day after himself.
• 1695 - Isaac Newton discovereth the Golden Rule.[3]
• 1941 - Winston Churchill falleth asunder, crying "My bowels, my bowels! I am pained at my very heart; my heart maketh a noise in me"[4]
• 1958 - Andy Warhol discovereth that a feast is made for laughter, and wine maketh merry... but money answereth all things.[5]
• 1989 - Actor Patrick Stewart goeth for a walk. And as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head.[6]
• 1995 - Bill Clinton declareth on oath that thrice was he beaten with rods, once was he stoned, thrice he suffered shipwreck, and a night and a day he has been in the deep.[7]
• 2003 - Jeb Bush, Governor of Florida, maketh an law that will cut off from the people him that pisseth against a wall.[8]
• 2004 - A court sentenceth Martha Stewart to six months in chains, as well threaten to smite her with a consumption, and with a fever, and with an inflammation, and with an extreme burning, and with the sword, and with blasting, and with mildew.[9]
• 2007 - The Angry Video Game Nerd invents the first twenty-syllable expletive.
• 2010 - George W. Bush quotes Ezekiel 25:17 to God before popping a cap in his own ass.[10]