OS/2
The OS/2 is IBM's super games console, an acronym of Owns! Station 2 because it naturally has ownage over all other machines, which are vastly inferior by comparison. Originally slated as the PlayStation 2, IBM was forced to change its name after discovering a nursery school in Manchester, which has since become a Starbucks, had already taken this name.
Sales[edit]
The OS/2 was launched in 2000, amid competition against Sony's ZX Spectrum, the Sega Saturn, the XBible 360, and Charles Babbage's Calculating Machine. However, the OS/2 quickly became the gamers' machine of choice, due to the following features that characterised the OS/2's supremacy:
- 133µHz processor.
- 465.5 colour screen.
- Anthrax-free controllers.
- The groundbreaking ability to render triangons.
- It only weighed 200 pounds.
- Optional OS/2 Warp! time machine feature.
- Licensing of the AmigaOS operating system and technology in exchange for Commodore getting a port of IBM's REXX scripting language. IBM got the sweet part of that deal.
The OS/2 sold 200,000,000 units in Botswana alone, and nearly 8,000,000,000 in the USA. God himself even bought one, appearing in an advert with the tagline: "I know what you do in the bathroom, so buy this console or you'll burn in hell."
Games[edit]
The OS/2 was bundled with Harry the Flatulent Platypus, Bill Gates Is A Bastard, and Triangons: A Technical Demo that demonstrated the OS/2's stellar achievement in three-dimensionalised graphicality.
Other top games included:
- Leisure Suit Larry and the Department for Sex Crimes
- Quadriplegia!: Crazy Race (a game tie-in of The Who's sequel to Quadrophenia)
- Syntax Error
- Bucket Fever
- World Championship Tiddlywinks
- World Championship Tiddlywinks II: Atomic Squidger Precision