LEDs
| LED | |
|---|---|
 | |
| Scientific classification | |
| Kingdom | Light |
| Phylum | Electricitimy |
| Class | Bulbs |
| Order | A Pack of 20 now and get 2% off! |
| Family | Electrics |
| Genus | Irish stout |
| Species | Christmas light |
| Binomial name | |
| LED | |
| Specifications | |
| Primary armament | The wires which come out of the bottom, they fucking hurt! |
| Secondary armament | None |
| Power supply | Batteries |
| Health | infinite |
| Mana | 100 |
| Strength | 0 |
| Intelligence | 0.1 |
| Weight | 1,000,mg |
| Length | 1 centermetre |
| Special attack | It glows real bright! |
| Conservation status | |
| None, 7000 are produced by a single mother Christmas light. | |
An LED is the spawn of a Christmas light. Christmas lights will come out of hibernation during mid December to be forcefully placed upon a pine tree to act as a decoration. During the time of decoration the common Christmas light will become extremely horny and as a result produce up to 7000 spawn in order to keep the species going. Later on in the Christmas period, the male of the Christmas light will attempt to fertilize the eggs with almost a watt of electricity. When the spawn eventually develop and hatch the term LED is used. Unfortunately, these stories do not have a happy ending as the LED trade is at an all time high. People come from far and wide to retrieve these baby Christmas lights. Techno-Trade are the worst offenders and can take up to 45% of the LEDs at once. They are then neutered to stop the production of testosterone, thus preventing pubertal development and leaving one of their wire legs shortened. After this they are packed into boxes of 20 and sold. Fortunately, these containment units or "20 LED Multibuy Bargain Packs" are poorly constructed and are broken open and rescued by secretly smuggling them out of the facility (the other view of this act is chavs pocketing them and scampering out so that they can light their rooms in red for about 20 seconds). The people who work with abandoned LEDs are known as electricians, they will bribe shops like Techno-Trade to purchase the containment units for the low sum of 25 pence and put the LEDs to good use where they will be appreciated such as in electric circuits to let someone know that their appliance is switched on. It's hard and boring work, but it's better than being stolen by a chav to prove he is ranked above a dog in intelligence. The LED Rights committee put forward that forcing LEDs into a circuit and making them stay illuminated for extreme lengths of time is slave labour and are currently working to allow these LEDs to be set free to run about the wild and continue to live in peace and harmony.
The Famous Incident in 1205 - how LEDs Saved Christmas[edit]
Rudolf the reindeer was an employee in an LED factory. Unfortunately, due to a small programing error involving Windows, an explosion fired millions of LEDs into all directions. One LED hit Rudolf square in the nose. Some of the energy in his body was somehow converted into electrical energy . Being an adventurous young chap Rudolf - who was now known as the red-nosed reindeer - set sail to the North Pole where he went to Grotto University. However, being a FREAK OF NATURE, he was rejected by the other reindeer and was not allowed to play any reindeer games, such as Monopoly: Reindeer Edition. Then, one foggy Christmas Eve, Santa, slave master of the reindeer, came to say "Rudolf with your nose soo freakishly deformed and bright due to the fact that you have a LED implanted in the schnauzer, wont you join my sleigh tonight?" Rudolf was then admired by all and all reindeer have LEDs implanted in the nose.
Facts[edit]
- LEDs are invincible and you can't fucking smash the cunts.
- LEDs are annoying in the way that you can't tell which side is positive once you have removed its genitals completely.
- The LEDs in your PC are not real.
- God was once an LED, you've gotta start off somewhere.
- Cheerios are made from ground up LEDs.
- Squirrels have LEDs for eyes.
- LED stands for Lettuce Eating Duck.
- LED is DEL spelt backward.
- Darth Vader's real son is LED Sky-Lighter.
- LEDs can be powered by hamsters.
- Due to being forced into slavery at a young age, LEDs had secret society of terrorists that were discovered in the late 1990s.
- The moon is actually made up of millions of LEDs that escaped Earth to start a new life on a floating space badger.
