Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/January 28

January 28: World I Am the Voice of the Mysterions Day, Hi, I'm Ed Winchester Day (Austin, Texas only)

• 1800 BCE - Brits invent the word 'reaulycing' from their caves. America is criticised for improving it and accused of warmongering.
• 841 BCE - The gods of table tennis take on the the gods of cheesy snacks for domination of the universe and the right to lead bunnies in their quest for world domination.
• 978 - Birds suddenly decide to migrate from east to west. Pigeon haters are delighted.
• 1591 - Queen Elizabeth I's personal confessor Abbot Costello is confused by cricket, shouting, 'Who's on first?'.
• 1873 - After writing the novels Little Women and Little Men, Louisa May Alcott writes The Incredible Shrinking Man and Ant Man Comics. no. 1, neither of which would be released until after her death.
• 1932 - Without warning, the Voice of the Mysterions is heard on every radio channel in every country of the world. The voice is interrupted by the Voice of the Mysterians and a garbled argument ensues. This would later lead to radio talk shows using a seven-second delay.
• 1975 - Happy Days Is Filmed in Front of a Live Studio Audience – did you know that? I didn't know that!
• 1982 - Happy Days spinoff Joani Loves Chachi is filmed in front of a zombie audience with laugh track tape players in their laps to accommodate its shooting schedule.
• 1996 - Slap bracelets are re-introduced into the world and you become cool for just one moment longer.
• 2003 - The US military is censured for human rights violations for showing Pauly Shore and Adam Sandler movies to prisoners held at Abu Ghraib prison.
• 2005 - As prophesied, Uncyclopedia reaches its 33rd article, triggering the end of the world.
• 2008 - People get fed up after realising that January 28th is changed to 'International Realising Day'.
• 2009 - Dr. Mario is executed after being convicted of misleading pharmacists on how to put pills in bottles.
• 2013 - Scary Movie V is condemned as the work of the Devil. An insulted Satan denies even being remotely connected to the so-called movie and retaliates the next year by bringing out Divergent, Yet Another Godzilla Movie and The Expendables 3.