HowTo:Write a HowTo article
“It is pretty writeable, once one knows how to write it.”
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HowTo This article is part of Uncyclopedia's HowTo series. See more HowTos |
Writing a HowTo article is one of the greatest tasks Uncyclopedians could take on themselves. Here, we'll try to provide the complete guide for the beginners in the field of HowTo. Note that this guideline is stricly regarding to HowTo; An attempt to implement it on such things as guides, manuals or FAQs could cause fatal confusions (especially when stupid people are involved), such as causing Manuel from Fawlty Towers to fah-queue as if you were a girl guide. Also, try to avoid foolish puns so that you would be taken seriously.
The two most important rules about creating a new HowTo article is to think about a task that a lot of people need to accomplish, and not try to deal with topics you know nothing about. The first rule is crucial; Writing about some dumb-ass task that everyody could figure out by themselves by just clicking some links and having a quick look at some pages is absurd. The second rule is not less important: If you don't know the first thing about the thing you try to explain, don't even try to explain the second thing.
First step: writing the first step[edit]
Writing the first step of a HowTo page has to be done very carefully. The reader must still be rather suspicious towards you, as a writer. You must show him that you know what you're talking about by getting straight to the point. Don't let him think you're dragging him into an endless description of the problem itself that he wants to solve that doesn't contain the real methods to overcome it. This would just cause him to develop a basic disbelief towards your knowledge of the field; such a thing will surely distract him and make him feel like he's being totally bullshited. So be sure that your first step in writing the HowTo fits the instructions above.
Next step: dividing into sections[edit]
Your instructions must be divided properly into a lot of small sections; This will provide a simplified discussion of the topic, and let you leave out irrelevant details that are only important to experts.
Section one: first instruction[edit]
- The {{HowTo}} template is categorized as a sectional template, and is the last one listed under the word H in that category. Also, the image on that template was uploaded by Whywhywhy, who was gone from #Uncyclopedia for some time now (as to the end of August 2006); The same picture is also used in such fine articles such as HowTo:Solve The 1x1x1 Rubik's Cube and the legendary Kitten Huffing, the latter being one of the articles untitled "Cream of the Crap" (originally "Cream of the Crop"), which includes the only article in Uncyclopedia that both it and it's talk page got featured: the notorious Euroipods (over 9,000 google entries).
Last step: completing the task[edit]
The way to finally complete the task in hand should be being expressed at this moment. After all the explanations you have already provided, this section usually writes itself. Just try to keep it simple and avoid fucking up the whole thing at this point by trying some over-the-top self-referential artsy-fartsy bullshit ending section that will do nothing but reveal the sad fact that you don't know crap about well, anything really.
I can Write a HowTo article, now what?[edit]
Try to practice your new skills by writing these simple HowTo pages: