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The perfect vehicle for an evening of chatting. And the punched paper tape can be a permanent souvenir.

Chat or IRC is a marvelous new technology that permits computer users on the World Wide Web to slow down and converse by hunt-and-peck typing to one another, and then waiting, as though we still had modems and dial-up bulletin boards and AOL.

Unfortunately, any IRC channel you may have heard about that uses the name Uncyclopedia has nothing to do with this website. With sporadic exceptions, moreover, the people you talk to there are not the people you talk to here. On this site, we socialize on each other's talk pages rather than using a chatroom.

In a perfect world, our webhost would not have been so eager to give away the office furniture, IRC channel, and so forth. But as your mom always told you, this is not a perfect world.

What this means to you

Sometimes, when you tell the police "someone told you" that the piece you were pointing at the teller was merely a water-pistol and that you were going to get an ice cream treat, they don't seem to buy it. And Admins don't buy it either when you go to #uncyclopedia and "ask permission" to mainspace a crappy article, and then nominate it for featuring on the main page. Despite the many people who are eager to "give you permission," Uncyclopedians remain responsible for their own actions no matter whether they got permission from "IRC" or from answering a pay phone or from "trolls who follow me everywhere and do stuff claiming to be me" or from "the voices in my head." Those who cannot figure this out (in advance) deserve what they get.