“My Server is Down”
“In Soviet Russia, YOU!! incoherent are”
This article is part of Uncyclopedia's HowTo series.
See more HowTos
Note: We recomed that you read this first.
Being Incoherent is an important activity to every Incoherent person. If You are incoherent, please read this guide; Is for your personal succes on Freecell.
By being incoherent, you are able to be incoherent. If not, try reading the Manual of Microsoft Word. If you are using Linux, then you can not play tennis with Bill Gates.
Important Note!: you must got more than 567.648.000 seconds of life. if you have less. wait a little longer.
In order to be incoherent, you must have a brain.
If you do not have a brain, then you can still read this guide, but you also will be a Non-Human Incoherent Person. Or a Zombie.
For the purposes of this guide, you need:
- An Oscar Wilde clone trooper
- An Operative System. With Zombies.
- A brain or similar processing unit; a computer will suffice
- More than 567.648.000 seconds of live, with minutes.
- Being Alive. with brain
- A Web Browser
If you haven't one of the items above, do not panic. Kill yourself and wait a little longer
It's vital that you're alive. If you are not, another pacman psychologist will come your way.
It's NOT vital that you're alive. If you are not, read the previus warning
MOST important of all, you must NOT, i repeat that, NOT want to be incoherent. If you wish to do that (by reading this guide), you will NOT be incoherent; but if you read this guide, then you will be as incoherent as this guide, but you will not be incoherent. At all.
Step 1: Preparing yourself
First step, and most important. You must blank all your mind, breathe deep and then say something. Anything will do. For sure.
Repeat this act about seventen times per second; after that, dance. And then, dance while repeating the Step 1. poop
Step 2: Improvisation
After step 1, there is Step 2, or Step++, or Step = Step + 1.
For the sake of this step, you must not think. Try to realx and talk about random things. Althoug say Random Things is NOT improvisation, is almost like reach to absolute zero, or land on Jupiter.
well, after say something Random, you must Think about not to think. C'mon, i't easy, look, i´m doing that right now.
Being Incoherent by the United States Government, the IMF, CIA, Disney and Time Warner. Entry into the Free World many users expect that the money grows on trees, but often floats discreetly into the wallets of passers-by and makes them feel all fuzzy inside. On entry into the Free World, a user is registered for a job, stamped, named and entered into a database for marketing, promotions and messages from interested companies or partners.
They are then free to wander about the Free World at will, looking in shop windows, trying to find an apartment that doesn't smell like fungus and eating out of the sky at first hurl. What you need is to try one of these easy methods, carefully made to cut out and keep in a special binder that you can hand down to your family for generations, presuming it lasts that long, of course (your family, not the binder, which is only guaranteed for 6 weeks). You can be sure that hundreds of years from now your descendants will look at your work and say "Damn, our ancestors sure were nuts, weren't they?"
Use a Big Stone like I was yesterday. Then you saw these two birds, just sitting there, waiting to be killed. Of course, you looked around for another stone but the field was stoneless, was it not? You were then forced to use the one stone to kill two birds. Slates and shales. With a sharp edge, these can do some damage. Pumice. Pumice is a volcanic rock that floats on water. It's great for killing birds at sea, because your stone doesn't sink after you throw it. However it's very light, so you'll need a big piece. Agates. I just like them because.
Also, fell free to edit your life, is open source. Like this article. But, try to keep the How To stuff in it, but...really, if is a How To, then he MUST be coeherent!, to have a structure...yesh...yesh...a estructure.
But, hey, if you love your dog, there is nothign wrong with iy.
Step 2: Visation Impro
Visation Impro is an ancient art, coming from the Hedge of my Mind, near Paraguay. If your brain is active, then you must know that Visation Impro is ImproVisation in an altered order. All that we can say is we use we, but we are i. Because i´m all alone on this.
Stept 3: Final Stuff
Well, after reading this guide, your brain will be FULL of stuff and you will be like a Phenomena. Baby you are something like Phenomena, baby you gonna get your body yo... Anyway, Do not fall slep anymore on the garden, it is annoying the bears. Hey did you know that cars can be run on vegetable oil? No it's totally true, I tried it with my kittens, and it totally explodated! But you should never go through the mirror, I hear that wonderland is very cold this time of year, and that Alice is a total bitch but I don't really mind coz my mum told me I should eat my meat to be big and strong. You know who's big and strong? Superman. He can fly and do stuff and once I saw an elephant that was being carried by superman ad it wasa awsome.