Freecell

Freecell is a version of solitaire, a card game intended for eighteen players. It's a great way to waste time.

Freecell is an open game, which means that all of the cards are dealt sunny-side-up. Since you can see all of the cards at the start of play, chance isn't nearly as much of a factor in the game as it is with many other card games.

History

Freecell was originally developed by the Axis powers during World War II as a means of distracting the Allied Forces from the war effort. It failed miserably due to a lack of playing cards, a shortage that was only corrected once the Allied Forces took command of Japanese playing card manufacturing concerns following their surrender in 1952.

In the 1960s, Freecell briefly became popular among the psychic community, who played the game with tarot cards instead of standard playing cards. Those who tried this had obviously underestimated the power of the tarot, though; placing the Death card in the home row resulted in an enormous number of unexplained fatalities that decimated the legitimate psychic community.

Licensing

As the name implies, Freecell is free software. It is licensed under the GPL.

Health Hazards

The name 'Freecell' also contains a hidden warning. While playing the game the player continually loses brain cells. One cell at a time breaks free of the brain, migrates to the sinuses, and drains down the back of the throat to die in the hellish acids of the stomach. The player is literally swallowing and digesting his, her, or {indeterminate multigender being's} own brain!

Grand Champion

It has been proven that any Freecell hand has a solution

Mark Ottaway spent nearly six years at sea in a life raft with only a solar-powered laptop PC, a water distillation kit, a player piano, and a store mannikin. He survived by playing Freecell constantly and thereby digesting enough of his own brain to stay alive. He was rescued and is now in good health, though he cannot control his bladder or uncross his eyes. Although the sea trip caused him full blindness, he's still able to win every Freecell configuation. His stat summary reads -

This session 100%

won: 145403992

lost: 0

Total 100%

won: 145403992

lost: 0

Streaks

wins : 145403992

losses : 0

current: 145403992 wins

Summary

I'm watching youuuuu...

See also

• Making up Oscar Wilde quotes
• Freecell Solver - an enterprise content management system based on Freecell.
• Euchre
• Freecell