Worst 100 Uncyclopedia In-Jokes of All Time/Hitlerbear
 |
This page is an archive. The contents have been moved from another page for reference purposes only, and should be preserved in their current form. Discussion or voting on this page is not current. Any additions you make will probably not be read. |
“OMFGZZ IT'S 73H HITLORBEAR!!!”
“No, please... anything but my sphincter!”
“it's nothing compared to Manbearpig”
“Ahh Ahhh Ahhh Ahhh Ohh Yah. Ahh Ohhhh Give it to me you voluptious Shebear.”
There are many theories of how the Hitlerbear first came into existance. Some say this was Hitler's first successful attempt at Gene Splicing, others say Hitler liked to Fuck animals. Some Noticable Hitlerbears include: Yogi Bear, Smokey the Bear and worse of All the common Northern Polar bear (see Lost).
Yogi Bear 1945-1988
This was the offspring of Adolf Hitler the first Hitlerbear. During the Doughnut airlifts of 1948-1949 This evil spawn of the underworld manage to sneak aboard an American Passanger aircraft. Claw the Pilot to death with his Adamantium claws. He flew the Plane from Berlin all the way to Jellystone National park. Where he wen't into hiding for many year. Drinking the radioactive wastes of Three Mile Island. He Develeped an Increased IQ, Immense Rabbikenetic Powers. and the Ability to cloud the mind of those with an IQ below the retard level.
Yogi Bear is responsible for the Neo Nazi group PETA (Because their retarded) Now that he had his army of drooling idiots. He them needed to build a device so evil so incidious it would make the common man turn into a retarded piece of shit. Sadly all that the
Smokey the bear 1953 - ?
This was the offspring bear of a Midget Yogi fucked. Smokey was a ruthless Evil Pyromaniac. Who enjoyed. Setting stuff on fire. He to drank from the same radioactive scum water Yogi did. And gained the power of the explosive F.A.R.T. Yes Everytime this dumb pyromaniac bear shits he sets a forest on fire. And he has set many a stuff on fire. He During the 1970's Pillow war 2 He was hired by the soviets to set Yosemite National Park on fire. After that he has been reported to have been hired by satan to eat little children. And lite the remains on fire with his farts but this is unconfirmed. He was last seen hiding out in the canadian Wilderness in 2001. If approached by said satanic creature. Beg for mercy and pray your not jewish.
Not only can Smokeys Farts burn but they can travel back in time and Form into Ravenenous Fart elementals.
Rupert the bear 1969-He's immortal
Some Say Rupert the bear was the First Hitlerbear to not develop superpowers. Born After Yogi Fucked Jack Thompson in the ass. This Evil Little critter had an unusual knack for traveling especailly to third world countries. Like Detroit and Jupiter. Enslaving the power and often times stupid people to his will. His favorite snack is the legs of humans. He eats them like a panda eats bambo first sucking all the blood out. Because yes Rupurt is a vampire. after sucking out all the blood he then eats the flesh in one big sucking action. Porceeded by Tossing the bone to a servert and orders him to chop off another leg with a Uranium Claymore.
UPDATE: Ok So now you will ask how did rupert become a bloodthirsty vampire. I dunno maybe the midget was a vampire to. They have no souls after all. How can people that short have souls.
After enslaving the people of detriot with his mighty fists He had them buils a Spacecraft that could fly to jupiter after reading the Secret to immortality lies in jupiters core. This Spacecraft was made entirely of aborted fetuses Shit and toilet paper. And it only costed $24.99 to total to make. Man NASA needs to be this economical. And suprising. with an Odd 1/10^1000^1000^1000^1000^1000^1000 Or well dang near impossible. The spacecraft worked and it got him to jupiter. And the secret to immortality lies in jupiters core. BUT. Rupert is trapped forever by Jupiter's Immense Obesity field.