Hider Mushroom
“Sø, yøu're making an article about me, are yøu?”
“Who?”
“Yo”
“Wait, when I had to kill eveyone who didn't matter, did I miss him?”
Quince "Hider" Mushroom is a fungal entity hailing from the planet Cheese-Stench. He is the ruler of said world, and rules with sheer indolence. Hider is the highest ranking of the "Mushroom Retainers", otherwise known as "The Hider Mushrooms". He has a unique affinity for the NES game Clu Clu Land, and has achieved one of the highest scores (10). He is well-noted for his unpopularity, tendency to be a scapegoat, underdoggery, and always using the letter "ø" instead of "o". In fact, on most contracts, certificates, petitons, peace treaties, party invitations, autographs, crosswords and public restroom tokens, his signature is shown as "Hider Mushrøøm".
General Information[edit]
Hider is a red-capped, white-spotted mushroom of indeterminate age. Henceforth, it is unknown if he has been, is, or will be involved in any romantic relationships. Isn't that just lovely?
History[edit]
Hider was conceived by an ordinary mushroom. His father is unknown. For the first few years of his life, he played gopher tennis with his rival, Felix the Cat. During same, he traveled to Cheese-Stench on an enchanted Chicken Nugget. He became ruler of Cheese-Stench shortly after overthrowing the previous ruler, the "late" Spongebob Squarepants, the two of which engaged in an intense NetBattle, but in the nick of time, Hider obtained the "70sDsco P" chip, which led to victory for his NetNavi, DensityMan.EXE. He originally started out by getting captured by King Poopa, later re-named Wowser. Actually trying to save Princess Toad's Stool, later renamed Teach, a young, orange-clad plumber named Yario defeated Poopa/Wowser, only to find Hider there for the first 7 times, Hider saying a different thing for each rescue. Please note that all "ø"s were replaced with "o"s at that time, to comply with the Letter Limit Industry Code (Page 7, Paragraph 1, Sentence 9: "No using "ø"s.) This replacement was lifted after the "Bring Back "Ø" Revolution", and all records of Hider and anyone else using "o" were altered. Hider can still be seen not using "o" in the game Super Yario Brothers: We Don't Care About Hider!
Moreover, Hider has often attempted to be involved in the lives of countless others. This is best seen in a space of 5 years known as "The Years Where Hider Tried Hardest To Be Involved In The Lives Of Countless Others." During which, he attempted to participate in Super Smash Bros, but ultimately failed while trying to chase a balloon (later revealed to be a talking taco in disguise). Later, he tried to assist Sly Cooper in his plights to steal a golden noodle box, but he then fell into a hole and landed in Russia.
In Super Yaro Bros.[edit]
| Castle Beaten | What Hider Said |
|---|---|
| 1-4 | "THANK YOU YARIO! BUT THE PRINCESS IS IN ANOTHER CASTLE!" |
| 2-4 | "THANK YOU YARIO! BUT YOUR EFFORTS WERE IN VAIN AGAIN!!" |
| 3-4 | "HEHEHEH... THIS WAS JUST A DIVERSION... RIGHT ABOUT NOW..." |
| 4-4 | "WELL DONE MARIO! YOU RESCUED ME, THE PRINCESS... NOT!" (Hider wears a princess costume when saying this, and removes it at the end.) |
| 5-4 | "1337 R0015!111" |
| 6-4 | "ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!" |
| 7-4 | "IN SOVIET RUSSIA, WE ARE BELONG TO ALL YOUR BASE!" |
| 8-4 | This castle has the princess, who says, "THANK YOU!! BUT I WAS IN ON THE WHOLE HIDER THING!!" |
Hider's Personalities[edit]
What most people don't know about Hider is that he has multiple personalities (also known as schizophrenia). one of these personalities happens to be the infamuos Teis T. Stool , creator and developer of the device "C Cube". It has since been removed from the international market due to its insurmountable capabilites which would render all previous technology obsolete. One of his more malicious personalities is the underworld tycoon Billy Kong, the mutli-millionaire. He imports contraband types of cheese from the Northern European countries, he exploited nearly all countries in the Northern Hemisphere and is currently planning how to scheme in the South, he plans to target New Zealand first.
Behavior of Hider Mushroom[edit]
The typical behavior of Hider Mushroom is that he's the kind of entity that hides behind obstacles so the enemies don't find him and beat the snot out of them. Because he hides so well, he has done very well in paintball and laser tag, where hiding behind things is essential to victory. There is a huge hall of fame with laser tag and paintball trophies won solely by this rare mushroom.
Taste[edit]
In many rich countries full of tasteless rich people, the Hider Mushroom is a rare delicacy that people pay loads to eat. Consumers claim that it tastes like "jello-y pee". Conisseurs of this product do not care, they will eat anything that used to be alive and is rare to the area.
Notable Quotes[edit]
- "THANK YØU YARIØ! BUT THE PRINCESS IS IN ANØTHER CASTLE"
- (In response to "What's the time?") "Støp... Hider Time!"
- "This is nø time tø beat yøurself up... I'll beat yøu up instead."
- (In response to "Oh, noes!") "Øh, yesessess."
In-Game Appearances[edit]
Hider Mushroom has appeared in over 7000 video games, including:
- Super Yario Bros.
- Super Yario Siss.
- Super Duper Yario Bros.
- Hider Mushroom's Life
- Hider Mushroom's Death
- Hider Mushroom goes to Wendy's
- Mega Hider
- Mega Hider X
- Mega Hider Y
- Mega Hider O
- Mega Hider Battle Network
- Mega Hider Rattle Network
- Mega Hider Pickle Network
- Mega Hider Star Force
- Mega Hider Car Force
- Hider in Ireland
- Hider in Acropolis
- Hider Olympics
- Hider Olympics 2002
- Hider Draws Sunlight From A Watermelon
- Hider Raises A Chao
Trivia[edit]
- Hider was to appear in the game Kingdom Hearts II, in the world Cheese-Stench, but was removed due to pungency. A remake is currently being worked on, where the smell of Cheese-Stench is being edited, at the cost of game quality.
- In one episode of The Simpsons, Hider was parodied, and named, "Strider Mushroom", who was equally lazy to his real counterpart.
- Hider was brought into court for the case "Hider vs. Toad". The case showed that Hider's appearance and mannerisms were too similar from Toad (from Super Mario Bros.). With excessive bribing, threats and a manipulative lawyer, Hider won by a landslide.
- In the animated film "Rapping Granny Island", Hider provided the voice for Drake Wrongturn, a jolly lumberjack who was responsible for decapitating several rapping grannies.
- At one point, Hider was speculated to have been part of the Axis of Evil-Doers, but the rumors were cleared when Hider was shown in league with Morocco Mole, Minnie Mouse, and Foghorn Leghorn.
- Despite urban legend, and the appearance of his favorite letter in the name, Hider was not the founder of Brøderbund, a company that brought games such as Lode Runner and Lode Runner 2:Pencil Shavings Aplenty!