Game:Choose Your Own Adventure

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You are logging on to Uncyclopedia to read what you can about Choose Your Own Adventure, a 1980s book series that transported children to magical lands filled with homicidal maniacs, man-eating bears, totalitarian governments and human sacrifice. You have always wanted to know what the deal was with Mountain Survival, that really fucked-up you-are-starving-to-death-on-a-mountain book your grandma bought for you when you were eight.

You've got some time to kill.

As you read through various pages, you see a cave entrance. Ignoring it, you click ahead.

"Wait," says Dr. Nera Vivaldi, a woman with a bowl-haircut and an unspecified PhD. "Maybe we should go in."

Who the hell is that? you think, but then you look back at the cave. You've got some time to kill.

  • If you go into the cave, turn to page 12.
  • If you decide to go to work, turn to page 22.
  • If you wonder what the fuck is going on go away.