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Founders of great religions
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Name | Abraham | Lao-tse | Buddha | Jesus | Mohammed | Charles Darwin | Bobby Henderson | David Icke | L. Ron Hubbard | Zod | Mane Six |
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Co-founders, Pretenders, Prophets | Moses | | | Peter, Paul, & Mary, Martin Luther |
Ali, Abu Bakr, Umar, Uthmar | Richard Dawkins | | Cast from V | Tom Cruise, John Travolta |
| Mane Six, Lauren Faust, Mr. Hands |
Religion(s) | Judaism | Taoism | Buddhism | Christianity, Catholicism, Protestantism, approx. 1000 more sects and spin-offs | Islam, Sunni, Shia, Sufis, Alawis, Druze, Ahmadiyah, FPI, assorted bizarre desert sects | Atheism, Theory of Evolution | Pastafarianism | D.ick-eism | Scientology | --- | Bronism |
Miracles (approx.) | 20 | 1 | 7 | 200 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 1 (honest) | 0 | 0 | -99 |
Covenants & Promises | Milk, honey, and eternal life | Being one with the universe | Reincarnation, Nirvana | Eternal life | Eternal life, 72 virgins for bonus level | Freedom of thought | Pasta, stripper factory, and beer volcano | Liberation from alien lizards | Deliverance from wealth, friends and sanity | You will kneel before Zod. | Become a Brony and never reproduce |
Enlightenment (kW) | 1.5 | 150 | 200 | 1.6 | 1.25 | 180 | 100 | 0.001 | -10 000 | 0.045~1.334 (varies inversely to proximity to Superman) | -999999 |
Wives (approx.) | 2-3 | 0 | 1 | 0(?) | 9-30 | 1 | unlimited | 0-1 (no reptiles) | 3 (so far) | All women are property of Zod. | 0 (approx.OVER 9000 Men) |
Followers | 30-40 mln. (approx.) | 60 mln. (approx. + Ben Hoff and Winnie the Pooh) | 375 mln. | 2.1 bln. | 1.3 bln. | 500 mln. | 120 bln. (without earthlings) | 360 tln. (+3 earthlings) | 42 | Lex Luthor, Bizarro | All Bronies, You, parts of 4Chan |
Violent followers | 2.0% | 0.1% | 0.1% | 2.5% | 9.6% | 0.000001% | 0.01% | 3 | 60% | 100% | 0% (actually 100%, it's just that they like to love and tolerate) |
Overall result | GOOD | GOOD | TH'WEET! | NOT BAD | COULD DO BETTER | POOR | EXCELLENT | SHIT | COULD DO BETTER | POOR | TOTALLY SHITTY |
Value for money | FAIR | FAIR | FAIR | GOOD | COULD DO BETTER | EXCELLENT | EXCELLENT | EXCELLENT | EXCELLENT | COULD DO BETTER | NEVER |