Forum:Urgent Public Safety Warning

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Note: This topic has been unedited for 3502 days. It is considered archived - the discussion is over.

Watch out! According to the Malaysian Department of Homeland Security, Uncyclopedia is of "public concern". Don't visit this site! Keep away! It contains "erroneous information"!! report translation -- sannse<staff/> (talk) 10:36, 15 January 2008 (UTC)

<Manticore> Homeland Security confirmed website provides not true message, and published containing insults, contempt and awareness of the content of Malaysia, the Department issued a statement today urges public concern.
From #uncyclopedia — Sir Manticore progress-wheel.gif 10:39, 15 January 2008 (UTC)
I expect several UnNews stories before the day is out. :D -- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue) 10:41, 15 January 2008 (UTC)
I love the way they bring China into it! And "in order to avoid falling into the trap of heart" - what a fantastic phrase, I hope no-one suggests a betterer translation, that's perfect! --Sir Under User (Hi, How Are You?) VFH KUN 10:43, 15 January 2008 (UTC)
Well, that settles it, now we definitely need a template to stick at the top of the Malaysia article. Perhaps one of those crimethink ones? - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon.gif(Tick Tock) (Contribs) 12:07, Jan 15

How about:

Stop hand nuvola.svg This article has been declared of PUBLIC CONCERN by the Malaysian Department of Homeland Security
This is because there is no word for "parody" in Malay.

- sannse<staff/> (talk) 13:05, 15 January 2008 (UTC)

Does this mean that that guy in the help forum was right to be concerned? Or maybe he works for the government... -- 15Mickey20 (talk to Mickey)  13:48, 15 January 2008 (UTC)

I'm gonna take his request at face value... no reason why not as far as I can see. I've taken it back to the first version -- sannse<staff/> (talk) 16:15, 15 January 2008 (UTC)

Uh uh. I don't understand why this story only seems to appear in a paper for Chinese Malaysians. I can't find it in any of the many english language papers in Malaysia. I'll try to find out what's going on from a Chinese Malaysian friend in Sarawak. It is a bit alarming. I think he might be right to be a bit concerned. China provides excellent training courses for governments in this part of the world who don't things like this Sean.hoyland - tak() 14:30, 15 January 2008 (UTC)

Oh How I Love to Antagonize Entire Governments

Would anyone be against me totally pissing off Malaysia? Codiene's right; missing the opportunity to fuck with a whole country is just too good to pass up. --THINKER 15:05, 15 January 2008 (UTC)

UnNews:Uncyclopedia Internal Security Department warns on Malaysia - David Gerard 15:39, 15 January 2008 (UTC)
Can we annoy one of the good countries, next? I mean, what in the hell is a Malaysia, anyway? Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 15:42, 15 January 2008 (UTC)

Sounds good to me Sean.hoyland - tak() 15:53, 15 January 2008 (UTC)

Thanks for the snipe, Dave. --THINKER 15:57, 15 January 2008 (UTC)
Uncyclopedia: your best value for wiki-based international diplomatic incidents! - David Gerard 16:01, 15 January 2008 (UTC)
Oh, and anyone who actually reads and writes Chinese is welcome to stir the Chinese text (which is the original news story) to make it look more like it was minced through Babelfish, and of course to swap all mentions of Malaysia and Uncyclopedia - David Gerard 16:05, 15 January 2008 (UTC)
Never mind, I ran my English text through Systran myself. It's much better now, because it's longer - David Gerard 16:21, 15 January 2008 (UTC)

I've added another one. Please feel free to change anything in it. Sean.hoyland - tak() 17:50, 15 January 2008 (UTC)

"Authorities expect the statement to urge the public not to feel free to download and disseminate relevant website content, in order to avoid falling into the trap of heart." OH NOES!!!! OUR WEBSITE IS MAKING PEOPLE FALL INTO THE TRAP OF HEART!!! --THE 21:26, 15 January 2008 (UTC)

[[The Malaysian Trap of Heart]] really, really should be an article. --THINKER 21:28, 15 January 2008 (UTC)

David Gerard asked me to comment since I'm a Malaysian. (Brief plug for Keranamu Malaysia, a parody of a patriotic song that only Malaysians would get. Oh, and I'm not sure if we actually have a word for parody that isn't imported from the English.) Problem: I am not currently in Malaysia (ah, the travails of studying abroad). Kwong Wah is a reputable Chinese language newspaper, however. I quickly skimmed a bunch of news sources and blogs that might pick up the story - I got nil. Then I Googled around and found a few blog posts. I would be skeptical, if not for this and this. The first is by a blogger who generally does not publish stuff he wouldn't stand behind (he is currently defending himself in a libel suit filed by a government-linked newspaper); the second cites the Merdeka Review, a Chinese publication, and provides sufficient details that make me think this isn't a made-up story. I am not surprised at all that the government would be this stupid; the Internal Security Ministry and other government departments are generally run by dunderheads. Johnleemk 23:06, 15 January 2008 (UTC)

Uh oh...Some of our information has been found erroneous, guys. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon.gif(Tick Tock) (Contribs) 23:56, Jan 15
Oh Dear God... YOU ALL LIED!!! YOU SAID IT WAS ALL TRUE!!!! WHY WHY WHY??? Sir DJ ~ Irreverent OZ! Noobaward.jpg Wotm.jpg Unbooks mousepad.PNG GUN.png
Oh noes, it's the trap of heart! Quick, where's my copy of Open-Heart Surgery for Dummies?
And no, none of this surprises me; we've already had issues with mainland China returning blank pages in place of the various Chinese-language Uncyclopedias for the better part of a year now. --Carlb 00:44, 16 January 2008 (UTC)
My Chinese Malaysian friend, who admittedly doesn't speak much Malay suggested that the closest thing to "parody" in Malay might be “tiruan yang kurang berhasil”. That apparently literally means “worthless imitation”. So, not only have we been engaged in spreading erroneous information but it's all been worthless. I for one feel suitably chastised and foolish and I suggest we call the whole thing off. The irony is that we have actually trapped our own hearts in a trap of heart. I pity us. Sean.hoyland - tak() 08:07, 16 January 2008 (UTC)

Saddle Up...

Lock and Load everybody! :P - Rougethebat.gifAdmiral Enzo Aquarius-Dial the Gate SonicLivesPicture.png 18:11, 15 January 2008 (UTC)

I'll get out my M14. --Capercorn FLAME! what? UNATO OWS 16:07, 16 January 2008 (UTC)



Card-queen.gif Card-hearts-down.gif

Beware of the trap of heart

What's Uncycloedia? Teh website isn't showing up on my internets. --The Acceptable Thinking cap small.png Cainad Sacred Chao.png (Fnord) 00:51, 16 January 2008 (UTC)

Dunno, but I'd estimate about five seconds before some spammer registers it to park a page of ads there, - style. See also this, looks like "The famous original network encyclopedia 'Wikipedia' in the January 15, 2001 creation, is the founder of the Prince of the United States (Jimmy Wales) and Larry Sanger (Larry Sanger), and many other participants in the English passion." The Prince of the United States? Wow! --Carlb 00:56, 16 January 2008 (UTC)
The Prince of the United States is led by English passion into a trap of the heart. Top stuff! - David Gerard 10:31, 16 January 2008 (UTC)

Evil capitalist wiki must not reveal Ancient Chinese Secret

Governments taking offence at Uncyclopedia content in one or both Chinese languages is nothing new: --Carlb 17:51, 16 January 2008 (UTC)

Subject: Seeking your assistance
Date: Thu, 16 Aug 2007 18:24:37 +0800
From: "e##### ####" <>
To: <carlb@kingston.###>

Dear Sir/Madam,
This is an e-mail from the Equal Opportunites Commission of Hong Kong (“the Commission”).  
The Commission is a statutory body set up in 1996 to implement three anti-discrimination ordinances 
in Hong Kong, namely the Sex Discrimination Ordinance, the Disability Discrimination Ordinance and 
the Family Status Discrimination Ordinance.  It work towards the elimination of discrimination on 
the grounds of sex, marital status, pregnancy, disabilities and family status.  It also aims to 
eliminate sexual harassment, harassment and vilification on the ground of disability. 
We have recently received a complaint of vilification alleging that there are derogatory remarks 
made against a person with a disability in the following website:  We understand that you are the 
registrant of the domain.  In order to follow up the complaint, we would like to seek your kind 
assistance to provide with us the contacts of the host of the said website by 27 August 2007.   
Thank you for your attention. Should you have any enquiry, please feel free to contact me at
Yours sincerely 
E##### ####
Case Officer
Equal Opportunities Commission (Hong Kong)
19/F., Cityplaza Three
14 Taikoo Shing,
Hong Kong
Tel: (852) 2106 ####
Fax:(852) 2106 ####
Any other nations we could piss off? I was thinkin' maybe Venezuela, or Peru perhaps? --THINKER 19:14, 16 January 2008 (UTC)
Ooo! /me puts up hand. Narnia! Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 19:34, 16 January 2008 (UTC)
Dude, the PCV I can handle; that Lion, I don't know. Besides, do they even have internet access in Narnia? --THINKER 20:05, 16 January 2008 (UTC)
Nah, I'd prefer somewhere fictional. Like Belgium. --Sir Under User (Hi, How Are You?) VFH KUN 09:57, 17 January 2008 (UTC)
Better chance of having net.access in Narnia than in North Korea, I'd expect. --Carlb 20:08, 16 January 2008 (UTC)
Ooo, North Korea would be a good one.. That 2005 FA'd page could certainly use a makeover. --THINKER 20:19, 16 January 2008 (UTC)
We do what we can - David Gerard 20:33, 16 January 2008 (UTC)

And now, a musical interlude

"Trap of the heart"

and Uncyclopedia is to blame.

Baby, Malaysia gives love...

a bad name."

/me bows. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 06:34, 17 January 2008 (UTC)

A trap of the heart, and you're to blame
Comrade, you give us a bad name... --02:27, 28 January 2008 (UTC)

Once upon a time Malaysia was enjoy peace,

But violations of the dignity tore it apart.

Nothing I can say,

It's all just "a trap of the heart".

/me shamelessly copies Modus's idea with a different song. Doesn't bow, but doesn't look abashed. --Sir Under User (Hi, How Are You?) VFH KUN 09:57, 17 January 2008 (UTC)

Whatever you do

I urge you NOT to feel free to download and disseminate relevant website content!! Spang talk 08:39, 17 Jan 2008

Too late. Sig pic.PNG Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 23:47, 17 January 2008 (UTC)
I hope the government doesn't edit... on the other hand it could be really funny, clogging up the administrative running of a whole SE Asian country. Hmmm Sir DJ ~ Irreverent OZ! Noobaward.jpg Wotm.jpg Unbooks mousepad.PNG GUN.png
O noes!!, I have most suddenly felt into the trap of heart... Damb is on you site ! --Vosnul 14:58, 25 January 2008 (UTC)


I thought we were only a threat to Britain, America, the Bush's, Chuck Norris, factual Oscar Wilde quotes, Jews, blacks, and anyone who dare step in our path, but not Malaysia.

"These erroneous information has been widely adopted, particularly from the United States print media."

Really? What respectable media would quote Uncyclopedia? Damn those Malaysians and there... ERRONEOUS INFORMATION!!! --Dexter111344 21:13, 18 January 2008 (UTC)

Malaysia is mostly Muslim

I think we upset some officials in the Malaysia government that are Muslims, with our Islam, Allah, and Muhammad articles. That Uncyclopedia does not give the true message of Islam. I recall we got a lot of Islamic visitors upset that Islam was being mocked, and some of them were from Malaysia as I recall. If we keep it up, Uncyclopedia could become another Danish Newspaper under attack by Radical Muslims. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 03:52, 24 January 2008 (UTC)

What are they gonna do, suicide bomb Uncyclopedia Headquarters? Hah! Shows what they know, its just a cardboard box with a 56k modem jack on the inside! --Nytrospawn 18:54, 26 January 2008 (UTC)

I have been adding some pictures to Islam related articles. Now I must add some of Malay nature, lol. --Allahgator 00:42, 3 February 2008 (UTC)

This seems to be one o' them topics that go down in Uncyc history

So I'd feel bad if it got locked before I posted something.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  SU&W) 04:19 Jan 24, 2008

Slut. Sig pic.PNG Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 04:35, 24 January 2008 (UTC)
I AM NOT!--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 13:07, 24 January 2008 (UTC)
AM TOO! --Capercorn FLAME! what? UNATO OWS 14:30, 25 January 2008 (UTC)
Yay! I'm Uncyclopedia history! I'm a history slut! ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUNWotMRotMAotMVFHSKPEEINGHPBFF (@ 02:29 3 Feb, 2008)
Oh yeah. Good idea Skullthumper. I totally forgot to be a slut too, and SysRq just bumped it and all. -- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 18:13, 4 February 2008 (UTC)
YOU'RE ALL SLUTS! THE WHOLE LOT OF YOU! Sig pic.PNG Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 00:14, 5 February 2008 (UTC)
You're welcome. This thread is indeed legendary. I feel a need to revive it. Let me see what I can do. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUNWotMRotMAotMVFHSKPEEINGHPBFF (@ 21:23 5 Feb, 2008)

C.H.E.E.T.O.H.s of the world, unite!

And of course by C.H.E.E.T.O.H., I mean

  • Concerned
  • Heros
  • Eternal
  • Escaping
  • Trap
  • Of
  • Heart

Signup sheet is below. Let spread the right message: not feeling free to download uncycloedia! ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUNWotMRotMAotMVFHSKPEEINGHPBFF (@ 21:23 5 Feb, 2008)

Signup against not true message