Everton Football Club

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The new Everton logo as of 2013. It hasn't helped them play football but it does look nice.

The most successful football team in Merseysidia, Everton Football Club is a well respected retirement home for ex-Manchester United players, whilst providing a "feeder service" in the opposite direction for their up and coming youth, including England star Wayne "Once a Blue, always a Blue" Rooney.

The Early Days

Everton, also known as the "The Mints", were founded in 1878 by St Domingo's Church, who imaginatively named the team "St. Domingo's". The founding of a football team being the last ditch effort by the church to curb the heretical influence of Cricket in Merseyside at the time. The football team itself was a great success, there being very little else to do in the the 1800's, although it failed spectacularly in its efforts to prevent the spread of cricket across the country.

The success of St. Domingo's resulted in the club being renamed "Everton" in 1879 as more and more people took part in the matches and the repeated writing of the team name as "St. Dominos" began to irk the founding members. Everton assisted in the founding of the Football League in 1888 and won its first league victory in the 1890-1891 season by virtue of their opponents consisting of Burnley and Preston North End, teams whose names simply scream for them to be relegated to the bottom end of any league.

Everton's second league win came in the 1914-1915 season, a title they defended until 1919 while everybody else was busy with World War One. Despite being the only team playing in the league at this time Everton still conceded twenty-seven goals over the course of the four years. The exact same thing happened again in 1939 where the rise of Fascism in Europe ensured an unopposed title run for Everton for several years.

The Ground

Everton's very first playing field. It's all been downhill from here.

Everton was firstly at Anfield until the the owner put up the prices of the yearly rent to a point where persons walking past the ground were being charged tenancy fees. It was at this point that Everton left Anfield and went to Goodison park. The Everton manager at the time decided that he was going to "Take my ball and go somewhere else", the ball in question was the football team, who had not been included in the decision making process. As a result some of the football team moved to the new ground and some turned up at Anfield the next day only to be informed that they were now called Liverpool F.C., a brand new football team, created purely to spite the manager of Everton. A fierce rivalry between Everton and Liverpool has existed ever since, a land dispute in the late 19th century being as good a reason as any to dislike the people who live near you.

After years of discussion, Everton finally announced plans to redevelop Goodison Park recently. After it was suggested that demolishing a stand and rotating the pitch by 90 degree would give the club more space to expand, Everton went one better and in the summer of 2006, they rotated the pitch by a full 180 degrees. So swift was this change and so clever was the build quality, many fans have yet to even notice any changes to the ground. However further redevelopment plans were put on hold when the club realised that no matter how much they did to their ground, not being owned by some dodgy foreigner meant that they did not have the money to build a stadium as planned by other clubs.

Current Players

The current Everton squad is, as is typical of the premier league, filled with people who have never lived in Everton, don't really know where it is, but do really enjoy a game of football. The last time Everton won something any silverware was in 1995, so it is generally agreed that the new players aren't particularly good at football, though they do enjoy taking part, and that's all that really matters.


Everton have a 40,000 seater stadium that is never full. Think about that.

Club Motto

Nil Satis Nisi Optimum (Roughly translated as "Could Do Better")