Dingo-Eating Baby
- For the Australian national holiday, see Dingo Ate My Baby Day.
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“I knew we should have gotten that abortion done.”
“That's backwards.”
“On second thought, never mind. Those damn dingos keep tearing up my daisies.”
The Dingo-Eating Baby. We all knew it would happen someday. Babies, tortured for centuries by the much cooler and awesome'er Dingos, have finally gone mad. If you value your precious Dingo's life, please, for the sake of The Flying Spaghetti Monster, keep reading!
Dingo-Eating Babies[edit]
Not to be confused with the ever popular Dingo eating baby stories, the Dingo-Eating Baby is a newly found species of human infant with a thirst for Dingo blood, and possibly that of other dog-like mammals. This new breed of baby is almost indistinguishable from that of the common household baby, except for the fact that the little monster has blood dribbling from it's overly sharpened teeth. Well, I guess that's not that different.
The real change occurs at night, when nobody but Pedos and Grandparents are watching them. The Dingo-Eating Baby, although incapable of movement via it's short stubby legs, sprouts wings similar to a bat's, and skillfully flies out of your chimney, faster than you could say; "Damn, that bat-winged Dingo-Eating Baby sure can fly up that chimney fast." They take to the night, sometimes form massive flocks of Dingo killing monsters. Their screeches can be heard for miles, and their diapers can be smelled even farther.
Dingos, as we know them, are completely boned.
Predatory Instincts[edit]
They have them. Hide your Dingos. Hide them well.
Native Lands[edit]
A common misconception* (aside from giving birth to one of these monsters)is that they are only found in Australia. If you heard that from somebody, be advised that they are probably a Dingo-Eating Baby in disguise trying to trick you into leaving your precious Dingos out for the night, to roam the streets like they rightfully should. You should probably dispose of whoever told you this horrible lie as quickly as possible, by means only a true Dingo lover would. Obviously, by feeding them to your Dingos.
Dingo-Eating Babies are everywhere, and should be treated as a real threat. Just as real as you would treat a Grue, Manbearpig, or Santa Claus.
In Conclusion[edit]
Please spay/neuter your babies.
Do it for the Dingos.