Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/December 30

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Always Kills Governments, Always!

December 30: Last Chance To Do All the Things You Wanted To Do This Year Day

  • 4004 BCE - God remembers to create the Earth. Oh, and everything else, too. Except for sliced bread.
  • 4 BCE - Emperor Augustus remembers he was gonna have a census this year. Having missed his opportunity, he proclaims, "Let there be a day upon which all things previously contemplated throughout the last year finally be at once accomplished! Except for tomorrow. But shhhh!" Thus, the "Last Chance to Do All The Things You Wanted To Do This Year Day" is inaugurated.
  • 41 CE - Calligraphy, the gayest of Roman emperors, forgets to sign the will making his goat the next emperor, thus ensuring the slavery of goats for two and a half millennia.
  • 1037 - King Arthur loses the Holy Grail to Nigerian timeshare scammers. Crusades ensue.
  • 1928 - The fart is discovered to be a wave not a particle since two people at two different places can smell it at the same time.
  • 1999 - Procrastinators think about preparing for the Y2K Bug.
  • 2004 - Weren't we gonna start a parody of Wickerpedialyte? Yeah? Shit! Better luck next year.
  • 2005 - the letter u is now a bad word. Prince gets writer's block for about five minutes.
  • 2006 - Saddam Hussein is executed for forgetting to send Bush a Christmas card. Again.
  • 2007 - This entry is not added. Except in error, and other minor US towns.
  • 2012 -- The Mayans remember to end the world with a BANG!
  • 2017 - Wal★Mart sends in the Giant Smiley to crush the government of Botswana in order to create one giant store next to the redneck country South Africa. (pictured)
  • 2541 - Goats obtain their freedom, thus changing December 30 from "Last Chance To Do All The Things You Wanted To Do This Year Day" to "Goatcheese Liberation Front and Gift Packet Day" (except in New Guinea).