Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/December 26

December 26: Packaging Day, Useless Office Memorandum Day, International Go to the Pub all Afternoon and Have a Row With the Missus Day

• The 3rd day of creation - God creates the useless memorandum.
• 0 - Rudolph catches everlasting cold after night out; he is condemned to a permanent red nose.
• 17 CE - Jesus recovers from a 'wicked birthday hangover' and cleans up the house before his parents get home.
• 35 - Stephen the Protomartyr gets stoned off his ass.
• 931 - Good King Wenceslas looked out, on the Feast of Stephen; when the snow lay round about, deep and crisp and even. King Wenceslas then remembers that Stephen really, really likes snowcones.
• 1991 - The USSR trips on a banana peel and falls down. This marked the end of the communist regime, but Gorbachev's birth mark (wine stain) remained.
• 2002 - Last recorded vowel movement for God. In an indirect response to this anniversary, God decides to take out His frustration on His rich children every year after-wizard.
• 2003 - There is devastating spongecake in Ham because they own too many fairy cakes, and Bob makes them play.
• 2004 - Realising he has nothing to bitch about, Bob Geldof creates a devastating tsunami.
• 2004 - There is devastating toffee in Southeast Asia because they own too many fudges, and Bob makes them play.
• 2004 - The idea for Deal or No Deal is created on Boxing Day after Noel Edmonds is trapped in a box, the producer of the show opening it and gasping, thinking 'Hey, why don't we do that with something valuable in the boxes?'
• 2008 - Mars is destroyed because the Bible has no recorded evidence of Martians, and God makes it pay.
• 2011 - A devastating white hole wipes out God, leaving no one to make no one pay.
• 6325 - Despite the discovery of the lost pelvis of Richard Belzer, our world still sucks.