Deal or No Deal
| Deal or no Deal | |
|---|---|
 I chose the latter if it's about watching this show | |
| Format | Game Show |
| Created by | Stew Ped. |
| Starring | Howdy "Madel" DooDee u.s.a Andrew O'Queef australia Rita Ard u.k. Wilma Fingadoo new zuland Morr Ron canada. |
| Theme music composer | Genghis Khan Steddy Eddie Von Halen |
| Opening theme | "Send in the Tards", Performed by Timmay and the Lords of the Underworld |
| Ending theme | "Now tell them to fuck off" preformed by Timmay without the Lords of the Underworld |
| Language(s) | American,English, Canadian, Australian, Welsh |
| Production | |
| Executive producer(s) |
Michael G.Spot Boyle Dick Gurglesemen |
| Running time | approx. 28 minutes |
| Distributor | Sorry Pictures Television |
| Broadcast | |
| Picture format | visible |
| Status | still running, unfortunately. |
Deal or No Deal is a television game show for numb-nuts with an extremely low IQ, and those who enjoy laughing at them. Being that idiots are found all over this planet (provided you are viewing this page from Earth) it should come as no surprise that each continent has their own version of the show. In the United States, the show is hosted by Howdy Doodee who was desperate to find work when his Jamie Kennedy Experiment rip-off show called "This is Howdy Doodys Doo-Doo" was dropped into a nose dive into solid ground harder then when Michael Jackson was alive and watching Sesame Street. In Australia, the host is some douche-bag that would never have gotten this job if his uncle had not written that song "I'm a real wild one, and I like a wild fun, dadaddad, i'm a wild one, oh yeah, i'm a wild one" but you are probably more familiar with the Iggy Pop cover version that was such a good cover, no one knows it was a cover, and the original artist is long forgotten about, as we wish the guys son would suffer the same fate too.
Origin[edit]
Since television began in the early 1950's, the broadcasting of game-shows has given many everyday normal people the chance to enter, and be part of a show, that gives away cash prizes, gifts, cars and unbelievable amounts of headaches to people who keep hearing the same line "Stay tuned, we'll be right back with the answer". Some of the most popular game shows of all time include events taking place that challenge people with an average to high intelligence ratio. For those who score high in problem solving or puzzle completing, then shows such as "Wheel of Fortune", "Sale of the Century" and "Jeopardy" have been the most successful, but a game was invented in the 1950's to cater to people who "problem solve" via guessing prices. This show is called "The Price is Right". A dumbed-down game where contestants act like dickheads when they are called from the audience, and then guess how much the prizes on the show are worth. The contestant who win the most money (prizes and cash in the pricing games) would go on to spin the big wheel, and hope the wheel lands on $1.00 so that a bonus spin could allow the contestant to win $5,000 or $10,000 if the wheel lands on any of the red or green areas. Bob Barker kept the TPIR ship afloat with poise until Drew Carey and the new production staff made the show a magnet for cretins. It's an unwatchable show now unless you're a glutton for punishment.
The show was most popularized when obese people (contestants used to be fit and trim in TPIR's earlier days) would hear their name called out, and they would jump around in hysterics, and run down to the front of the stage and dance around like a guy mistaking his epileptic girlfriends fits as being a 12 hour orgasm. The contestants acting like they've been injected with caffeine is something that the much more refined contestants in TPIR's earlier days rarely acted like. Often enough this resulted in the most exercise these fat fucks had done in years, and would end up their last move in life before they either tripped and fell down the stairs, had a heart-attack whilst running down, or where so excited they fell over while running onto another audience member and sadly crushed them to death... we say sadly because the show never aired these clips, otherwise we would have had joy from it watching the "Funniest Moments" on the P.I.R YouTube channel. It would have been even more joyful to see how many broken noses where caused when a contestant would bet 1 dollar higher then the other contestant, just to be a smug prick... and won.
However, since the late 1980's, and the invention of cell phones and the internet the kids of today are much more grounded with marvelous technology that aids in greater learning at school and home.
But something happened to television during the 1980's. It got bad. Really bad. And each decade that has lapsed has warranted even worse television. "Reality" TV is the perfect example of dumbing down America. But, unfortunately, there are a good number of intelligent people who'll tune into these super crappy programs. Game shows have followed the same pathetic route these days. One of the foolish, most unwatchable game shows is Deal or no Deal. Faked? Most likely. Scripted? For sure. Rigged? Never say never. Dumber than dumb? Absolutely!
How it's played[edit]
The Deal or No Deal crew specifically choose a contestant with an IQ smaller then the digit length of their bra-size, or penile length, so all of you geniuses who have a middle school diploma can give up any hopes of ever being part of the show. This is extremely profitable for TV networks, as it guarantees everyone in New Jersey, Tasmania and Geordie will tune in nightly.
The audience member is then shown a bunch of suitcases that contain numbers far higher then they can imagine since they don't have enough fingers to count to it. But it is eased up by just putting numbers from 1 to 30 on each case. Even though some members of the audience can not count that high either, they have another bunch of audience members hold the cases up, so if a contestant can't count say "21", then they can just say, "The chink in the front row's case, please". They select a suitcase for themselves, and then guess which other cases have money in them.
The highest prize is $100,000. On some special editions, the price can be raised to up to a million dollars in 1st world countries, but in second world countries it can be a bag containing a kilo of dope, cocaine or a box set of complete seasons of Jersey Shore. In some 3rd world countries it may be a collection of swine, poultry or as recently seen on the African edition, a years supply of Rice Bubbles. Which was one single box!
Contestants eliminate a few cases, and hope that the big prize is not in one of the cases they pick that an audience member is holding. The audience member holding the case can also guess how much is in their case, and if they are correct, they win $20. Which just proves that it takes a moron to play, as anyone who just said, "I think I have $100,000" guesses it right, you would expect you get the $100,000, right? That is why IQ tests are given before contestants may appear on the show, just in case someone clicks to being jibbed and demands the full amount for them to blow on such things as, pimping their own ride, and finally being able to have that 50 inch LCD screen under the rear axle of their own car... just like on one of their other favorite retarded TV shows that they have been dying to get onto.
During the show, bank offers will be given after a few cases have been opened. If the top prize money is still there, then a decent amount may be offered. But retards, like many people, are greedy, and have no idea that the average person's yearly income is around $33,000 per year since they are on welfare. So when a bank offer of $74,000 is given, they cross their arms, show off their retarded powers, scream "No Deal", wipe off the drool from their chin, and keep playing in hopes of winning more money then the offer the "banker" (who is as much of a banker as Inspector Gadget is an inspector) just came up with. To a normal person with an average IQ, if even $20,000 is offered, you would probably just accept it, and go home, knowing you just scored over half a year's pay. But no, audience retards scream for them to keep going, as they want to see more shiny objects open up so they can guess what is printed on the piece of cardboard inside of them.
Average Contestants[edit]
Contestants must pass, or should we say, fail aptitude tests, before appearing on the show. Anyone found to have an IQ lower than 70 is guaranteed to be allowed to partake in the show. This usually consists of brain-dead teenagers from America who can't wait to tweet about being knocked up and are expecting MTV to call soon and offer their 15 mins of fame. The elderly contestants are made up of the type of retards who have no understanding of modern day intelligence. If someone is so stupid they have to ask their kids how to turn the TV on to watch Deal or No Deal, then they are a shoe-in for the show. The rest of the contestant pool is filled with people from the "Ellen Degeneres" audience.
Questionnaires are required to be filled out to apply to appear on the show. Contestants are asked to bring their own crayons with them to fill out the forms. Anyone who can spell their own name in under 5 minutes in two colors or less is excused from being applicable. Unless of coarse they have an "i" in their name, and instead of dotting the "i", they use a love-heart instead. For the most part, applicants who draw pictures of smiley faces followed by a "xoxoxox" or "this is a picture of my BFF's" are automatically placed in the front row.
You can also tell if you are living with retards aka: suitable contestants, as they will watch this show and scream out "No Deal, keep going" which goes to show they either have a serious gambling problem or give too much of a fuck about someone they don't know possibly getting richer. But most likely they are just too fucking stupid to realize what might benefit a person financially (the contestant playing for money) rather then keep opening shiny objects till they get less money offered and walk away with 50 cents. It just goes to show that only a retard would want to satisfy a retards obsession with opening suitcases over actually taking away a lot of money for yourself.
Prizes to be Won[edit]
The prizes given away to the audience members are unbelievably retarded gifts. Some prizes are cash, as mentioned that if they guess the amount they have in their own case, they get $50, again, not being aware that they should get what they guess, but are too stupid to understand common logic. Other prizes are whatever the stupidest and cheapest products that can be given away.
The future of Deal or No Deal[edit]
Eventually intelligence levels in the retarded community will get stupider as new technology comes into place, and education levels grow to an all time low. The future of game shows for retards will linger down into a more pathetic state of mind, that Deal or No Deal will become too hard for them to play, and it too will soon be labeled "gay" which translates into "It's too fucking hard for me to play it". So expect to see Beavis & Butthead hosting a show where retards can win a grand-prize of a $50 Itunes card on game shows with titles such as "Pull my finger, or Don't pull my finger", "Rock, paper, scissors or can I feel your boobs?" and "Complete a Facebook status with perfect grammar, spelling and interest to someone other then yourself".